mind job

When one's mind is blown.
Instead of, "That blows my mind," You say, "You just gave me a mind job."

Also known as an MJ

Someone tells a wild story, you say: "You just gave me the best mind job. Nice work."

by mindblower March 2, 2008

job security

Anything that may influence circumstances so that one may continue in one's current employment, regardless whether the job actually needs to be performed.

See legislator, lawyer, self-serving, and conflict of interest.

by Downstrike May 21, 2004

bump job

Paying a homeless man to allow an individual to snort a line of cocaine off of his erect penis. After all cocaine is consumed, the homeless man proceeds to give said individual fellatio. Upon completion of fellatio semen is delivered into the hobo's beard.

Guy 1: hey man you know what sounds good tonight?
Guy 2: what?
Guy 1: a couple bump jobs from Frank behind the pier
Guy 2: you read my mind bro

by Hoggonzo December 4, 2014

Lo Job

The act of receiving oral sex while the female (or male in some cases of homosexuality) has a mouth full of orange chicken.
Soy sauce may be added for an extra kick.

Babe, lets go to panda express and when we get home you can give me a lo job.

by coachlo December 10, 2009

Cobble Job

The act of using another persons prosthetic limb (be it an arm or a leg) as a mastabatory aid.

Mikes future employment at the hospital was put into futher doubt when his boss got wind of his daily cobble jobs

by Jon-o-fun August 31, 2004

hose job

(Noun) Any attempt that has resulted in utter failure.

If a friend seriously injures themself after yelling "Hey guys watch this!" it is considered to be a hose job.

by Quackafella2 June 16, 2010

Toad Job

Getting a blow job from a woman excessing over 225 pounds.

Mike- Did you hear Jake got a toad job?!

Tim- SICK! from who?

Mike- Connor! She is like 250 pounds, too!

by The Best Mane October 21, 2009