by Globally Offensive Cunt Strike July 9, 2024
Get the Officer Ballsmug. by xZelll March 7, 2019
Get the Officemug. A very attractive nerd who wears small rectangular glasses who also dresses runway ready in an office setting. They have what is deemed a face card and they're the opposite of office hot. They are also very subtle with their sexuality that is concealed with innocence. However under their concealed persona they’re very powerful and commanding. This is very attractive towards other coworkers. SuperNanny is considered a huge office Siren. Alex from Charlie’s Angels wearing the black latex scene is also considered one.
The new guy at work is such an office siren, those thin glasses don’t hide that sharp jawline and sharp suit as well. I give it one week before all the women in the office ask for his number.
by Aragonroses May 23, 2024
Get the office sirenmug. Flex Officer (noun):
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”
Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”
Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
You: “Why the hell am I getting mandated again?”
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
by BigDaddyBear53 July 4, 2025
Get the Flex Officermug. No officer, I did not rape those 30 innocent children and then proceeded to hide them in my basement
by GenderBender123 September 20, 2021
Get the Officermug. (N)Noun Location:
The office of the former president is acknowledged by over 300 million americans as a beacon of light in a dark world.
On January 25th in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty one, Former President Donald Trump opened an “Office of the Former President” that seeks to advance the interests of the United States and carry on the agenda of his inspired "America First" movement. The Office will be responsible for managing President Trump’s correspondence, public statements, appearances, and official activities to advance the interests of the United States and to carry on the agenda of the Trump Administration through advocacy, organizing, and public activism.
“President Trump will always and forever be a champion for the American People,” as quoted by The office of the former president.
The Office Of the former president is respected and acknowledged by over 300 million americans and will be a light in the darkness for all sovereign american peoples regardless of race, color creed, or political affiliation. No fat chicks or Commies!
The office of the former president is acknowledged by over 300 million americans as a beacon of light in a dark world.
On January 25th in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty one, Former President Donald Trump opened an “Office of the Former President” that seeks to advance the interests of the United States and carry on the agenda of his inspired "America First" movement. The Office will be responsible for managing President Trump’s correspondence, public statements, appearances, and official activities to advance the interests of the United States and to carry on the agenda of the Trump Administration through advocacy, organizing, and public activism.
“President Trump will always and forever be a champion for the American People,” as quoted by The office of the former president.
The Office Of the former president is respected and acknowledged by over 300 million americans and will be a light in the darkness for all sovereign american peoples regardless of race, color creed, or political affiliation. No fat chicks or Commies!
Donald John Trump has officially created The office of the Former President to continue to make the radical far left cry. Just as the office of the president elect didn't exist until Trumps presidency, neither did The office of the Former President. This is because Donald Trump s a creator, weather it Jobs, a stronger military, opportunities or a greater America that's just what we does. it's just a bonus that the Leftist tears will result
by BDHN January 26, 2021
Get the The Office of the Former Presidentmug. offspring of (a) Salvation Army officer(s) born before the said officer(s) enter training school. Not to be confused with officer's brat.
abbreviated O.K.
abbreviated O.K.
by placemat January 23, 2009
Get the Officer's kidmug.