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Football Seamster/Seamstress

A Fuckstick (person, not penis or dildo)
by James Cagney February 10, 2004
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semi-pro football player

Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in high school, but have since let themselves go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and snack away even at work.
When something funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.
Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?

X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus nose in da stairwell

Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a semi-pro football player.
by Ianfection January 20, 2009
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Wanna play football?

Colloquially used as an unfriendly warning to a fellow or fellows caught red-handed. Referring to the strong physical contacts in football,such as tackling or even wrestling.
"Wanna play football?" Officer Booth asked of Kenny,Kevin,Jamie,Matt,Robert,Harun,Uriah,Bill,Jim,and Tom,as he caught them mooning in public.

"Wanna play football?"Musa asked of his twin brother Harun,as he caught Harun trying to steal his medal. "That medal is mine,not yours!"
by JMC70 December 24, 2016
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Football casual

Usually 16-30 a foot ball casual goes to football games and usually ends up in fights.

They wear expensive clothes such as: Stone Island, CP Company, Aquasctutum,Fred Perry, Weekend Offender ect. And they wear adidas originals, new balances or diadora shoes
They listen to such music artists as: Oasis, The Stone Roses, The Courenteers, Jake Bugg ect.

They usually have a cockney accent and tend to swear a lot.
person 1: “ere mate I'm gonna get a stone island jacket for the game tomorrow then I'm gonna get a ruby murry, fucking sweet Init mate!"
Person 2: "ur a football casual mate."
by Adamharvey January 30, 2017
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football bat

something really big, covers alot of space.
That bitch was hit with a football bat.
by Tawny November 17, 2004
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Footballs

another name for testicles, meant to be kicked by women when needed
i kicked that guy in the footballs because he was harrassing me
by Suklaa June 9, 2017
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Football Twitter

FtblAdam is sooo shit and u have to admit it
by Jwkqjqgwhwushs August 20, 2019
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