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Autistic Turtle

When a man is about to have sex he knocks the girl away jerks off on the floor then leaves.
"That boy I invited in last night was really nice, but then he pulled an autistic turtle! What a fucko!" said Jane.
by The king...of everyone June 4, 2010
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Turtle Dick

The uncontrollable full retraction of the male penis, leaving Just Nuts.

As in a Turtle pulling his head back inside of his shell.

Causes: Cold Water, Fright, Koo Ko Girlfriends or Wives.
Rieko went koo ko and screamed at me in front of thousands of people at Disneyland and before you know it, I had Turtle Dick.
by DrGenetics March 25, 2008
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Turtle-slapper

An enemy from an alternate universe that is similar to one your nemeses but I’m color and not black and white.
“You Turtle-Slapper”, said Spider-Man Noir aka Nicholas Cage.
by TardisBuilder77 December 16, 2018
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turtle face

The nonverbal, neutral acknowledgement of, or showing of respect to another by making eye contact, flattening the lips, and raising the eyebrows. This act is most commonly used in passing of coworkers, the elderly, and small children. The facial expression resembles that of a turtle's face.
As Brian walked past his boss in the hallway, he used a turtle face to acknowledge his boss without saying "hello."
by cmatkins July 7, 2009
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Awkward turtle dive

Like the awkward turtle , but used when the situation is made even more awkward by further input either by yourself or someone else in the conversaton.

You make the same turtle hand formation as before, but make your hand turtle take a dive.
Bill: (jokingly says) Hey, don't give me herpes!
Jill: I can't give you herpes unless they flare up
Bill: ....*Awkward turtle*
Jack: (truthfully says) I have herpes too, and no it can't be spread unless you have visible sores
Bill: .....*Awkward turtle dive*
by Patty Pat Pat July 23, 2008
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Turtle Costume

Girl: Theses jeans are to uncomfortable im gonna put on my Turtle Costume
by Joeycracks August 23, 2007
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turtlefoot

A sexual act that involves pulling out of your partner at the last second and quickly fisting them once. Then immediately grabbing the covers and diving under them much like a turtle shell. The final act is to slowly poke your head out of the blankets as if you were a turtle.
B: "I heard you and Jon got pretty rough last night?"

A: "Yeah , I don't know how to really describe it but it kind of felt like a turtlefoot?"
by lolturtle July 2, 2009
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