Skip to main content

trojan helmet

the act of a man laying his testicles in ones eye sockets and laying his dick down the middle of the persons nose to their lips thus resmbling a trojan helmet
"While Mary was sleeping I took out mt dick and laid it on her head to make a trojan helmet."
by Fudger April 24, 2003
mugGet the trojan helmet mug.

Trojan War

The Trojan War was a war between the Trojan army and a bunch of queers from Greece. The only heterosexual in the entire Greek nation was some spartan dude named Menelaus, who was the mentally handicapped son of the dude from 300. One day, Paris, some dude from Troy, got a bj from this chick named Helen, who was Menelaus' wife. This pissed Menelaus off and he decided to go to war with the Trojans. His brother Agamemnon, who was the leader of most of the other Greek cities (Menelaus was always the slow child) decided to go to war with them.

The Trojans were the greatest, awesomest, strongest, and sexiest civilization of the time, but the Greeks gave it their all. The whole war lasted 10 years. The first 9 years were pretty motherfuckin' boring, but in the last year things got a little screwey. The champion of the Greek army was named Achilles, whose buttbuddy Patroclus got killed by some Trojan dude named Hector. Achilles was pissed off he needed to find another buttbuddy, and decided to challenge Hector to a fight. In the duel, Athena kind of Jewed Hector out of all his weapons, but Hector was still raping Achilles (medaphorically), until Hector slipped on one of Achilles' tubes of anal lube that he had dropped. Hector got a concussion and died. Achilles then tied Hector's dead body to the back of his chariot and rode it around Troy and back to the Greek camps, were he had violent anal sex with it (he liked them messy).

Just before Hector died, the race for the position of King of Troy had began. Priam, who had been president before, lost to the emerging Democratic party lead by Odysseus. This is a little known fact, Odysseus was actually a Trojan dude. After those fucking democrats took over, things got pretty fucked up. Paris shot and killed Achilles with an arrow, and was sentenced to death by Odysseus for the hate crime of murdering a homosexual. His execution was carried out by Philoctetes. Odysseus' next act as President was to tear down the walls of Troy and let all the immigrants come into the city as they felt like it. He built a giant wooden horse as a welcome sign for the new immigrants (similar to the Statue of Liberty). The Greeks used this opportunity to try to invade the Trojan city. However, for some reason the Greeks were all walking with a limp that day (probably because of all the butt sex)and couldn't do shit (heh). The Trojans were able to defeat the massive army of homosexual invaders. However, Odyssues was appalled by his city's mistreatment of queers and immigrants and ordered the destruction of the city of Troy for its xenophobic actions. However, one guy named Aeneas was like fuck that and decided to run to Italy, where he founded Rome. He named it the Roman Republic so his civilization would know to always be republicans and not like those fucking liberals.

Oh yah, and there's a chick who fucked a bull using a machine he friend built for her somewhere in the tale. I don't know where the hell it is.
The Iliad and the Odyssey were the two gayest books I ever read, why the fuck do they make you read them in school?

If the Greeks won, why the fuck is it called the "Trojan War"? WTF
by Konages June 8, 2009
mugGet the Trojan War mug.

Trojan Donut

This is, quite simply, when you insert a lubed, unrolled condom into someones ass with your finger, blow it up like a balloon inside their ass, tie it off, and then whip it out of their asshole as hard as you can.
It's worth doing a Trojan Donut just to hear the sound it makes.
by lcableguy9002 November 5, 2009
mugGet the Trojan Donut mug.

trojan war helmet

a position in which a man positions his balls over the girls eyes and his penis along her nose to resemble a trojan war helmet
steve was fuckin around with chelsea and rocked a trojan war helmet on her
by BMW March 30, 2003
mugGet the trojan war helmet mug.

tocayo

The Spanish term for a person with the same name or surname as another individual. More common among individuals of the same gender; although rare, it is possible to have a tocayo of the opposite gender. The english equivalent is a filch.
Mo and his tocayo are beating up the easter bunny and taking his eggs!

Dude you're my filch! What the heck is a filch!? We have the same name, duh!!
by Mo2121 April 7, 2009
mugGet the tocayo mug.

Trojan Ecstasy

The newest condom technology - feels like "Nothings there!" closely meaning that it was created as an excuse for unprotected sex; thus feeling better than a regular one and in exchange resulting in a large number of broken condoms, unwanted pregnancy's, and STD's.
Trojan Ecstasy: 60 percent of the time, - it fails - every time!
by asdgdfgh July 28, 2009
mugGet the Trojan Ecstasy mug.

Trock

Time Lord Rock, a new music genre for fans and by fans of the Sci-fi show Doctor Who. Discovered by the lovely Alex Day aka Nerimon from youtube.
My fave Trock song is An Awful Lot of Running by Alex Day.

Some Trock bands are; Chameleon Circuit, Quantum Locked, Children of Time, and Heart of the Tardis.
by CatxRawr. October 5, 2008
mugGet the Trock mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email