A Lord Baltimore is something that happens to your car when you leave it parked in Baltimore. The act invloves someone breaking into your vehicle for the purpose of taking a gruesome shit inside of it. The shit is usually atypical and has either massive coiler or extreme diarrhea properties. The classic Lord Baltimore has the perpetrator taking a shit on one side of your back seat and then using the other side as a place to wipe his ass. The use of the seat itself as toilet paper can be traced to the fact that no one can leave anything of value in a vehicle street-parked in Baltimore due to theft concerns. Note that sometimes the one who performs the Lord Baltimore will use the quiet seclusion of your parked car to inject needle drugs, typically heroin, and will leave his dirty works along with the shit and broken glass in your backseat. The totally unique feature of the Lord Baltimore is that no valuables inside of your car will be removed. No one has ever been arrested for doing a Lord Baltimore although it seems to happen quite frequently, particularly during the winter months. The history of the Lord Baltimore can be traced to Cecilius Calvert himself taking a terrific shit in a carriage that belonged to Oliver Cromwell. Proud Baltimoreans consider being Lord Baltimored one of the best things about their city, and routinely mention the custom's importance in shaping the modern city's identity.
I'm really glad the person who Lord Baltimored us last night didn't take our GPS.
Every time we get Lord Baltimored it makes me sad for those loser suburbanites who don't get all the benefits of living in this cool city.
When I checked the CarFax report it said your Prius was Lord Baltimored twice in 2008.
I got Lord Baltimored last night and I didn't get a chance to clean it up before picking you guys up. Pardon the mess back there. Just push it to the side.
Every time we get Lord Baltimored it makes me sad for those loser suburbanites who don't get all the benefits of living in this cool city.
When I checked the CarFax report it said your Prius was Lord Baltimored twice in 2008.
I got Lord Baltimored last night and I didn't get a chance to clean it up before picking you guys up. Pardon the mess back there. Just push it to the side.
by Cecilius Calvert November 28, 2011
He told me to sit my sorry fuckin' ass down in the chair. This Baltimore eloquence shows he's a real fuckin' Baltimore gentleman.
by Duckbutt September 04, 2007
When you are driving down a shady street in Baltimore and see a druggie fast asleep while standing up on a street corner and by the look on their face you can tell they are having a pretty bad dream
by R-Dizzy September 23, 2013
The act of being a Ravens fan and getting so upset about a pass interference call that you proceed to throw your alcoholic beverage in an angry fashion all over the bar top and your friends.
Sgt Weller really got upset about that Falcons PI call and pulled a Baltimore dumbfuck the other night...didn't he
by Akfishripper September 07, 2018
"I kept sayin no and pushin him away and then that nigga pulled out the baltimore mistletoe and I had to fuck him."
by Dr. Todd Reezee March 06, 2009
The predilection for homes (especially rowhomes) in and around the Baltimore area to be eqiupped with a toilet in the basement, but without a bathroom. Upon entering the basement a toilet is usually visible by itself sometimes even in the middle of the basement.
Example 1: In order to augment my income, I'm gonna rent out my basement. There is no shower, but it has a Baltimore Throne.
Example 2: If the cops raid the house, head to the basement and flush the dope down the Baltimore Throne.
Example 2: If the cops raid the house, head to the basement and flush the dope down the Baltimore Throne.
by Ballin' Bawlmer February 24, 2013
by baltimor0n September 04, 2018