touching the turtle

Female masturbation

Big Texas Hair is sitting in her cubical touching the turtle. I heard her moans and now I want to wash my ears out with bleach.

Your girlfriend looks really happy.
Yeah, we were in the other room, playing touch the turtle.

by happy_turtle July 8, 2010

Tickling the Turtle

Definition 1: The act of female masturbation.

Definition 2: The act of teasing faeces out ones faeces with their thumb and index finger, while constipated.

Definition 3: Where both acts are combined with the aid of a partner.

Example: My girlfriend hasn't taken a shit in over a week and she wants me to help her with Tickling the Turtle.

by Depro October 20, 2012

dip the turtle

have sex. Comes from the head being shaped as a turtle dipping into a very wet pussy.

"so you spent five hours with the girl, and you didnt even dip the turtle, man!"--Mike and Gary (its a show on Comedy Central)

by bojzzle October 6, 2004

jab the turtle

The best rapper in the universe

All hail jab the turtle a god amongst men

by Oxford dictionary co March 24, 2017

give you the turtle

The worst threat known to man

You don’t want to know what it means to give you the turtle!

by Froggy9400 April 23, 2022

Fear the Turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Dan Savage. "Savage Love by Dan Savage – Columns – Savage Love –" The Stranger. Retrieved March 19, 2011.

"Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle."

Fear the turtle

by Skandranon314 January 6, 2012

Waxing the turtle

To consume larger quanities of marijuana at one time. To polish the "green".

Timmy and i just got done "waxing the turtle".

by drhandbanana May 29, 2010