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squat cobbler

An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by Logan Hawkes July 2, 2016
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squagottle

The act of making up a word to suit the needs of a sentence in order to prove a point or exaggerate.
"I think that I may have to squagottle some new words for this upcoming debate."
by squagottler February 24, 2017
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Related Words

Squakinkle

The tearing of the scrottum
My scrottum got caught in my zipper and now I got a squakinkle
by Kadan and joe July 3, 2018
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squarier

For when you want to way squarer but it is so cold and your nipples so hard that you momentarily have an aneunyrsm and a pointless “i”
“All this time i was getting underwear that was shorter and shorter”

“But you needed underwear that was longer and squarier”
by Parsa J. December 15, 2019
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Global Assault Yeet Squad

The Global Assault Yeet Squad (here on referred to as GAYS) is a low profile group of elite soldiers that will stop at nothing to stop their foes, the BBC (Bolivian Battlement Camp), who work alongside the JIZZ's (Juristrictive Informants of Zulu and Zanzibar). The GAYS work in various scenarios, most of them involving Autism Awareness Centers.
Example 1:

BBC Soldier #1: The Global Assault Yeet Squad is thwarting us!
BBC Soldier #2: We know! They're made up of some of the most elite soldiers in the World!

BBC Soldier #1: And that one autistic soldier has killed more than 100 soldiers in the span of the 3 minutes we've been defending this bridge.
by nigger69420 November 28, 2019
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Parker Square

Originating from the youtube account Numberphile, Doing a parker square means that you have attempt to do something but didn't quite achieve accomplishing it.
Matt: Hey Brady, I solved this sodoku puzzle !
Brady: You repeat numbers in all the columns and rows.
Matt: It still sort of counts.
Brady: Face it Matt, this is a parker square sudoku.
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squip

A microcomputer (fictional) that makes you more popular. From the novel and subsequent musical of the same name, Be More Chill. Activated with Mountain Dew, deactivated with the short-lived nineties drink, Mountain Dew Red, not to be confused with Mountain Dew Code Red, which is different.
"I got a squip." "You got quick?" "Not quick. Squip." - Be More Chill the musical
"Your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your Squip."
by Saoirse C May 27, 2017
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