Ninja Proofing

Setting up your house to ward off long term ninja infestations. It's considered impossible to keep ninjas out entirely. In fact, attempting to do so can attract their attention and just make the problem worse.

1) Coat the walls and ceilings with steel backed teflon. If the steel isn't thick enough, they can still use their claws. Make sure it's at least a 1/4 inch thick.
2) Install random rotating magnets. This makes it difficult to throw shurikens accurately.
3) Set up a DVD of old "Kung Fu" reruns in infinite reply. Warning: This may cause Seppuku incidents, which are really messy. Take my word on it. Spread plastic in front of the TV.

Avoid using pirates. I know it's tempting, but they're worse than ninjas (really loud and smelly and treasure chests are hard to find).

Bob: Where were you last weekend?
Bill: Sorry, spent all day Saturday Ninja Proofing.

by Al Benedict December 3, 2010

Insta-pooping

The action of scrolling through instagram while pooping.

I caught my husband insta-pooping.

by Mama_Jess November 27, 2016

Tide Pooling

Having anal sex with someone who is currently suffering from diarrhea.

She had the runs after eating chili fries but I don't mind tide pooling so I fucked her ass anyway.

by rickabone May 24, 2017

Micro Pooping

When you love to poop so much that you pinch it off so that you can poop several times a day.

When you're at work and you love pooping on the clock so you make the most of it by spacing your poops out through the day.

Greg: Jeez Cortney you've gone to the bathroom like six times today!

Cortney: Mind your business Greg I'm micro pooping!

by LoveMuscle69 June 1, 2017

assault pooping

Weaponizing your excrement into an assault weapon. This not to be confused with war dumping.

Dude, just be assault pooping all over that desk. Yeah, bag it up first. No, it’s not suspicious to roll with a bag of shit.

by Kingleil May 8, 2018

Shit-Pooping

When your playing a game but your shit is turtling out of your ass so you go to the toilet, pinch a little off, and wipe to save time and get back to the game quicker.

You: Oh crap man I got to poop
Friend: But we are in a competitive match, we need you.
You: Don't worry I'll go Shit-Pooping

by GoldNate May 29, 2023

Winnie the pooing

When somebody dips their hand into a jar and eats off their hand like Winnie the Pooh. Often seen with peanut butter jars.

Someone’s been Winnie the pooing this peanut butter you can see finger smears in it.

by Reefer714Madness May 23, 2021