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brown microphone

To sing or serenade into one's bumhole therefore mimicking the action of singing into a microphone that happens to be brown. Often ex-American/Canadian Idol stars are reduced to using the brown microphone since it is the only audience that is attentive.
Tariq: "Last nightt Clay Aiken sang an incredible melody into m'a brown microphone. It was stuck in m'a head awl day!"
Dwayne: "Damn nigga, that's gross!"
by CockBlocker December 14, 2008
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D.A.W.M. (Dork with a Microphone)

a person who uses a microphone in mic enabled online multiplayer games to talk, play recordings, or do various other things completely irrelevant to the game at hand.

it is reserved for people who do nothing but play music, brag about various things, or berates fellow teammates for doing nothing all the while they had a mic and did nothing useful with it.
"you D.A.W.M. (Dork with a Microphone)" or "what a D.A.W.M. (Dork with a Microphone)"
by porcupyne November 30, 2009
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Polish Microphone

Pilots on long flights in small aircraft would often install in a small funnel attached to a rubber hose that ran out side. If necessary they would use funnel to relieve themselves during the flight
No need to stop at the next gas station said Bill. I'll just use the Polish Microphone
by Largo 7 May 29, 2014
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Laptop Microphone

A really fucking bad microphone that sounds like a built in laptop banana.
Horrible Microphone Kid: OMG IM SO GOOD AT THIS GAME GUYS IM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!
Studio Microphone Guy: Shut the fuck up and stop using your Laptop Microphone
by YoMommaJokesAreOld June 13, 2015
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Missouri microphone

When you engage in anal sex with a lover, and go straight to oral sex with another.
Dude, I can't believe she sang into my Missouri microphone last night...
by Chilebeso October 22, 2015
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The Microphone

An extreme version of The Screwdriver where your hand comes out the mouth
Man dude Patrick really did The Microphone on me I'm so sore
by Realskskdude April 28, 2019
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Purple microphone

Giving head is called "singing into the purple microphone"
by Purpmic December 27, 2019
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