your balls smell like my grandma on the 764th day of watching the first superbowl on a red couch

a sentence no one has ever uttered except me. why i have ever thought of this is beyond me. help me. help us. you are the only other person to ever see this. except for the poor soul who reviews this.

also nice dick bro

it wont

your balls smell like my grandma on the 764th day of watching the first superbowl on a red couch

by Random schoolkid June 26, 2021

couch lock

Being so stoned that you can do nothing but sit on the couch laughing at stoner movies.

"Hey man, we're going to the store to get some munchies, you coming?"
"Huh?"
"Ha, don't even try it, man, he's got couch lock."

by Haddock May 31, 2005

fuck yo couch

Comes from a Chappelle's show sketch where charlie murphy (eddie murphy's brother) is telling stories from the 80's when he used to hang out with famous people on account of his brother. they call it charlie murphy's true hollywood stories or something. and he's talking about Rick James coming over, all high on cocaine, with muddy boots, and kicking them all over Eddie's brand new expensive couch, and he's just yelling "FUCK YO COUCH, NIGGAH!" so they beat the crap out of him.

Fuck yo couch, niggah!

by Kecktardo November 3, 2005

couch skiing

The act of a person sitting on the couch and jerking off men on each side of him/her, at the same time. The simultaneous jerking off motion resembles using ones poles to descend down a ski mountain.

Dude, Doug is such a homo. He got drunk and went couch skiing with the the two captains of the guys basketball team.

by Lilly Rowell September 29, 2007

sex couch

The couch that everyone has shamelessly hooked up on. Usually located in the basement of a college house.

brad: where did you watch the game??
tony: i was at the trap house.
brad: i really hope you didnt sit on the sex couch
tony: oh crap

by eleffingscorcho November 17, 2009

couch wookie

A very hairy individual who lays on your couch with one hand on a beer and the other down his pants while he watches shows like "Monster Garage" and "Tech TV", all the while wondering why he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Steve, that bloody couch wookie, is eating the left over popcorn from between the cushions again.

by Lowbrow Dot Org November 1, 2004

couchlock

When you get so incredibly stoned that you actually become a part of the couch. It becomes impossible to move. Usually followed by playing grand theft auto, eating $20 worth of taco bell, singing the entire national anthem, getting lost for 2 hours in the Wal-mart parkinglot, stealing traffic cones and wearing them as hats, smoking another joint, listening to aqueous transmission by Incubus, eating a whole bag of doritos, drinking 5 gallons of kool-aid, and finally trying to watch all of Half Baked with out passing out.

Man that green is the bomb...I was couchlocked for like 4 hours. Got any more???

by Pot-Head September 15, 2008