8 Mail

Delay-sent email.

Your boss works late into the night, but instead of sending you emails at 11:30 pm, she delay-sends them so they arrive at 8 am. You arrive at work with a half-dozen of new tasks that appear just as you're settling to the date. You hate this!

Anson arrives at work, sits in his cubicle, logs on. At 7:59 am, his box is empty and he takes a sip of his coffee. Anson turns away for just a second, but when he turns back a minute later, he finds that 8 new emails just appeared in his mailbox. His manic boss wrote the emails overnight and sent to them to arrive at 8. "Aaagh, 8 Mail!! I hate when does that!!

by burnt sox August 27, 2024

Drea-mail

When you think you sent an email to someone but it turns out you only dreamt that you did.

Did you submit that report like I told you to Larry? Did I only ask you that in a drea-mail?

by Newsfguy1 April 9, 2024

Nair Mail

You love your woman and she adores the way you use your tongue but she refuses to shave her bush. You're sore from bush wacking through her Brillo pad. So you apply a salve of agent orange to her secret garden with a mouthful of Nair. Once deforrested, she wakes up shocked to find that her Amazon had been converted to a manicured golf course. Now you can deliver your tongue to the new address.

She: I couldn't talk after the way you navigated my jungle.

He: It was hairy, Babe. I had to nair mail it before the bush came down and I found El Dorado

by HOSESLANGER June 10, 2024

bro-mail

bro-mail (n): an email thread or individual email message where either the sender and/or recipient of said message mutually perpetuate the use of "bro" in reference to each other, often when other recipients are copied but are not similarly referred to as "bro" in the conversation. Initial messages and replies often contain a salutation of "bro," and message bodies are peppered with "bro" or bromantically-inclined sentences. Variants also include: brother and broski.

Example 1: Sender: "Bro, I will take care of that. Have a great day bro!"

Reply: "No problem, broski. Keep the bro-mails coming."

Example 2: Sender: "Brother, hate to send another bro-mail but I got that paperwork but now I don't have the deal anymore, bro."

Reply: "Oh no, bro. Don't sweat it."

by Welllldoggy March 2, 2026

sertafied mail

Da type of USPS shipping-service dat you utilize to send a mattress to someone.

Even if you're shipping a Sealy brand mattress, you should still use sertafied mail to ensure dat it's received correctly.

by QuacksO March 3, 2026

ale mail

This the term for communications sent via email or text while under the influence of ale or other alcoholic beverages. They are typically not a good or even okay idea and lead to negative outcomes.

Barry was despondent when he awoke terribly hungover and read the response from Linda ending their relationship. He knew he should not have sent that ale mail last night, but he did anyway cause he a drunk ass with huge insecurities.

by von groovy October 12, 2024

green mail

A copious attempt to gain someone’s favor or change their mind by offering them huge amounts of money.

Hey Bob, you’re the best player in the game. How’s abouts you take this Green Mail and not show up to tomorrow’s championship game?

Elvira - “I’ll never be yours Tony”…. 1 week later,
Tony - “Your man is dead, l’m the new boss,..
Elvira - “just a minute, Iet me get my coat”.

by DaMartianAC December 31, 2024