The Church

That's your fucking story? That the church swooped in and stopped all the raping and pillaging?

Hym "Holy shit you ACTUALLY did it! You gave the church credit for stopping rape. Go watch it. Everybody was raping and pillaging. Then the agricultural revolution happened and the people who hoarded resources started out-reproducing everyone. Then the church came along marriage saved everyone from rape... Except nobody told Christopher Columbus because I'm pretty sure his guys were raping and pillaging. There's some skepticism around it regarding his diary claiming that in his diary he told them not to rape. I know you're going to say here 'Columbus didn't work for the church!' And he didn't fucking have to you idiot. If the 'central guiding ethos' is the cause of everything that happens in a culture then it's the central guiding ethos. And as far as the bible is concerned, rape is rewarded. If you rape someone, according to the bible, you have to take the person as your wife. So, it's like pissing on a tree. There are MEN who ALMOST get raped in the bible. And the guy is like 'No, please, take my prostitute and daughter instead.' And take the daughter and prostitute they did. They didn't like the prostitute. They chopped her up pretty good. But it actively takes credit for every moral advancement humans make in real time. It didn't do that. It just unified the whites under one banner and the it came for eberyone else. Still, it's closer to MY theory of historical inter-sexual relationships than the red-pill dorks so... CORRECT AGAIN! The correctest man strikes again!"

by Hym Iam November 13, 2023

Church bells

The swinging action big tits make when a chick is getting it doggy.

Lisa’s church bells were ringing when I drilled her last night.

by Big Dom88 January 16, 2020

Church

A place you should go you filthy animal.

“Hey Martha! Where are you going?”

“To church.”

“Didn’t expect it from you.”

by AnimeLove4867682 April 27, 2021

Central Avenue Church Of Christ

An unknown cult in Fairborn, Ohio that covers up sexual assault and hides predators.

Rose: Don't go to Central Avenue Church Of Christ. It's really dangerous.
Syra: Why?
Rose: They're a cult and their covering up sexual assault, I should know, I'm one of their victims.

by TheWhistleblower June 7, 2018

Church boy

Literally Parker

Me: Wow hello church boy
Parker: Shut up
(@_@)

by anonymous March 22, 2022

Church-Kiss

a quick kiss, without tongue. usually fast, mindless lip brushes.

the kind of kiss you exchange with a family member, friend, or someone you kiss so often that it becomes a habit.

He gave her a Church-Kiss in front of his moms; but that side-bitch had just spent the night!

by Mad-Dog M June 11, 2020

Westboro Baptist Church

Even Bob and Larry would recommend you stay away from that homophobic hell.

Bob: Why is that onion preaching at me that I'll go to hell?

Larry: He's part of the Westboro Baptist Church. I suggest you sta hip aq11

by Maya Butreeks April 25, 2021