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Autistic Turtle

When a man is about to have sex he knocks the girl away jerks off on the floor then leaves.
"That boy I invited in last night was really nice, but then he pulled an autistic turtle! What a fucko!" said Jane.
by The king...of everyone June 4, 2010
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Turtle Dick

The uncontrollable full retraction of the male penis, leaving Just Nuts.

As in a Turtle pulling his head back inside of his shell.

Causes: Cold Water, Fright, Koo Ko Girlfriends or Wives.
Rieko went koo ko and screamed at me in front of thousands of people at Disneyland and before you know it, I had Turtle Dick.
by DrGenetics March 25, 2008
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Turtle-slapper

An enemy from an alternate universe that is similar to one your nemeses but I’m color and not black and white.
“You Turtle-Slapper”, said Spider-Man Noir aka Nicholas Cage.
by TardisBuilder77 December 16, 2018
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turtle face

The nonverbal, neutral acknowledgement of, or showing of respect to another by making eye contact, flattening the lips, and raising the eyebrows. This act is most commonly used in passing of coworkers, the elderly, and small children. The facial expression resembles that of a turtle's face.
As Brian walked past his boss in the hallway, he used a turtle face to acknowledge his boss without saying "hello."
by cmatkins July 7, 2009
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Turtle Costume

Girl: Theses jeans are to uncomfortable im gonna put on my Turtle Costume
by Joeycracks August 23, 2007
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Turtle Text

When the most incredible woman you have ever met in your life finally opens up and sends the most amazing text or e-mail, but immediately retreats back into her shell never to be seen or heard from again.
Patti broke my heart when she sent me a Turtle Text and severed all contact right after hitting send.
by ice cold asshole March 7, 2010
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derpy turtle

A person who customizes cars or motorcycles. Builder of hotrods
That's a badass ride! I wonder who the Derpy Turtle is who built it??
by Derpy Turtle April 17, 2014
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