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Having Jesus over for dinner

Instead of faking a plausible excuse, a person tells an audacious lie in order to make it known that they just don't want to hang out with you, presumably in order to offend you enough that the situation won't occur again.
Jake: Hey man, you wanna go catch a flick at the old drive-thru?

Jim: Nah dude, I'm having Jesus over for dinner.

Jake: Weak!
by zekepliskin December 6, 2009
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Jacked Jesus

Jacked Jesus is like Jesus but is short and stronger around the height of 5'3, if he flexes on you, you will disappear into dust in an instant, like being thanosed, he is too strong some people say but they are right!
Jacked Jesus: *Flexes*
You: *Disappears*
by The Priest Logan December 10, 2019
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Related Words

Assume the Jess Neville

The act of lying flat on the ground with arms by your sides, when either ordered to do so or as an agreed forfeit in a drinking game.

Originally started in Bristol after a viral video contained original footage of the Jess Neville assumption.
The official call is: "assume the jess neville!" at which point, unless one person has been targeted, everyone must assume the aforementioned position.

Assuming the jess neville can also be used as a punishment in drinking games until all but the winner has assumed the position.
by Mr. Side Poo April 30, 2011
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Murda Murda Jesus

An anti-christ phrase used to make over religious people feel very offended. Often accompanied by phrases like "666" and "Catholics, so I gotta murda them!".

The phrases come from a song called Lucifer 9, which features these hidden messages when played in reverse.
AntiChrist - "I'm gonna Murda Murda Jesus!"
Christian - *cries*
by Valcatz July 19, 2011
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fix it jesus

when someone is doing something so shameful/extra that you need Jesus to fix it for you because it has become too much. or when something foul has happened and only Jesus can help. made famous by Phaedra Parks from the real housewives of Atlanta.
teacher: "I'm assigning you an essay and a project due the day you come back from winter break"
me: "fix it Jesus

or
person #1: "this guy in my class who I've never talked to before just came up to me and told me my mom was a MILF!
person #2: fix it jesus, that is so strange!
by poopemoji January 13, 2016
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Jesus syndrome

The combination of complexes and dogmatic teachings that create a pathetic personality process that makes the person feel they are 'Jesus like' in the way the world should view them and as they view themselves.
My roomate seems to have fallen into a Jesus syndrome. He feels the need to try to cure the world's ill, right the wrongs that people do unto others while rarely seeing his own passive-egotistic, funky-underwear-on-the floor faults that need corrected.
by Chasman January 8, 2007
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Jesusfucker

1. One who fucks Jesus
2. An ass hole; Douchebag; etc.
3. A particularly delicious chocolate cake from Chili's
"Man that cake was such a jesusfucker! Why don't we go to Chili's more often?"

"Shut up! God, you're such a Jesusfucker!"
by sarah is radd March 26, 2009
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