douchebag chords

Chords douchebag usually learn and stick to with the guitar, for the purpose of sounding cool at parties. You can easily spot a douchebag using douchebag chords at any event, since he's a poorly educated wannabe musician, hardly scoring with any of the poor-looking half-baked floozies, while the cool full-on stoned attendants are properly getting infuriated by the amount of G, C, A, E and D chords (with no variations) played randomly while accompanying cheesy, ill-written lyrics.

Stephen : Hey man, take a look at the freakin' prick in the bedroom.
Brian : Oh man, you talkin' about the guy with the dirty goatee and the cheap guitar ? I thought I could hear douchebag chords being played !
Stephen : You damn right, and look at the crowd around the bed, what a bunch of losers.
Brian : Hey man you got that weed ? Gotta numb my brain from this excruciating sonic bullshit.
Stephen : Sit right back in that couch mister, you gonna be taken care of. Just fire up the volcano, everything's gonna be alright.
Brian : You rock, I love you.
Stephen : I love you too, bromosexual.

by Klisstoriss April 17, 2012

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Douche-Count double check

Driving or walking past a restaurant or bar a second time to gauge how many douchebags are there, to decide if you go in or not.

Friend One: "We can always go back to that bar."
Friend Two: "Yea let's do a Douche-Count double check."
Friend One: "To many douchebags here lets go somewhere else."

by Pretty boy Floyd June 21, 2013

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douche tilt

To tilt ones head up in a photo like a douche bag.

"Wow Mike Lieberman is rocking the douche tilt pretty hard in that selfie." (Also using the word "selfie" usually means you're a douche bag.)

by Mr. Perfect1 January 11, 2014

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Douche-ass

One who exemplifies the overbearing qualities of a douchebag and at all other times is just an asshole.

Howie is such a douche-ass. He makes all them douchebags look cool.

by eiwoh May 1, 2014

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douchebaggery in the 2nd degree

This is the 2nd of the orders of magnitude of douchebaggery in which a person can commit. It is very similar to douchebaggery in the 1st degree; however, this accusation comes with a noticeable difference. In this degree, the accused has now become a repeat offender. The person, from here on referred to as the douche, has been charged and found guilty of 1st-degree douchebaggery by the Court of Public Opinion. Penalties for a guilty conviction on this charge are increasingly stiff, and may include:
-Immediate unfriending on facebook, snapchat, etc.
-A swift kick in the giblets
-Public mockery/ open shame

Shrek: "Hey man, remember how I had rescheduled that kayaking trip with my buddies so Jeff could make it since he bailed the last time?"
Scuff: "Of course."
Shrek: "Well, that douche bailed on me again this weekend!"
Scuff: "Word? What was his excuse this time?"
Shrek: "He said he got busy with stuff-n-things."
Scuff: "Dude, that's a load of garbage! He's my friend and all, but this sounds like a definite case of douchebaggery in the 2nd degree!"
Shrek: "I concur, Scuff. Maybe we need to get him checked into some kinda rehab before this gets worse. Anyway, how findeth the Court of Public Opinion, Jeff, on the charge of douchebaggery in the 2nd degree?"
Bystanders: "GUILTY!!!"
Shrek: "Motion carries. Unfriending on social media to be completed by midnight tonight."

Note: The sentencing for this conviction is much more severe due to the enhanced likelihood that Jeff will become an even bigger douchebag in the near future. If unattended, it is likely that he will soon commit a crime of douchebaggery in the 3rd degree; a black hole from which no friendship escapes.
Special Note: It is very rare that the Court of Public Opinion ever finds anyone innocent of a charge that is brought before them. They are a vengeful lot.

by Sir Scoofsalot February 9, 2015

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