captain obvious

that fucktard who's always lurking arround waiting for the chance to explain anything about a situation known to everyone.

common state ments made by captain obvious are things such as 'wow guys look its raining'. Yes captain obvious is that guy who leaves everyone thingking 'you dense mother fucker'

captain obvious: hey we have schoool on moday

person: thanks for that captain obvious

captain obvious: thats ok

person: you dense mother fucker

by cottnsoft April 10, 2013

captain tatty bo jangles

My scrotum

That's a nice Captain tatty bo jangles you got there.

by Captain tatty bo jangles April 3, 2014

The Captain Jaybird

recieving oral sex while driving a boat and right as you ejaculate you push her head down onto your shaft(causing her to gag and/or choke), pull her up and immediately box her ears and push her off the boat. As you are giving her a sturdy shove don't forget to yell "peace bitch, tell your friends!"

That son of a bitch said he was taking me fishing and all I got was "The Captain Jaybird

by dirtyjaybird85 March 10, 2011

Coke Cum Captain Challenge

The Coke Cum Captain Challenge (CCCC) is explained as follows. While receiving oral sex, the male partner waits until he is about to unleash his kraken. Upon this moment he exclaims "Coke Cum Captain!" and he shoots his load up her/his nose. At this point the girl/guy receiving must keep it up her nose for as long as she/he can say "Coke Cum Captain curses my crotch" 10 times fast. Once accomplished, she/he is the Coke Cum Captain.

Susy completed the Coke Cum Captain Challenge with me last night. It was hilarious when she had jizz hanging out of her nose!

by Friends of the .38 Club June 28, 2014

captain dildo

The person that wants to jam a dildo up your ass when you are passing seated people at the movies

"not today, not today, not today captain dildo" - dane cook (vicious circle)

by evansd September 15, 2009

Captain Morgans' Revenge

...or rum-hangover.
When you've been drinking rum and waking up with a bad hangover.

bro-tip: Rum goes well with coca-cola.

1person: Wow, I drank so much bacardi and woke up with the worst hangover ever.

2person: Captain Morgan has cast his revenge upon you.

3person: Captain Morgans' Revenge!

by Johannarin October 23, 2011

captain red eye

Usually used in cases of revenge, when the offender is asleep you lower your pants to mid ankle squat over the persons face and pinch their nose with your ass cheaks making sure their nose gets comfortably aquainted with Mr. Captain Red Eye himself.

My girl cheated on me so I went over to her house and introduced her to Captain Red Eye.

by Mr. Red Eye February 29, 2008