Porch Monkey

1. This refers to a person who dabbles in the Greco-Roman philosophy of stoicism but seems to, choose to lack the maturity or discipline to truly practice it in any serious sense.

Stoicism's origin stepms from the Greek phrase "Stoa Poikile" which translates to "painted porch." "Stoa" meaning porch. Thus they inhabit the porch but have all the seriousness and dedication a monkey would have toward serious philosophy.
2. Porch monkey is also a derogatory term to someone who practices stoic philosophy.
3. Porch monkey is also a highly derogatory term for black person and typically has no bearing on his philisophical outlooks.

Usage note: To avoid being seen as a racist, only use this term to refer to stoics who cannot be mistaken for people of color.
1. "Alexander says he is a stoic, but after seeing his temper tantrum the other day, I'm starting to think he's just a porch monkey."
2. "Lucius is lecturing us all again about how we shouldn't let our emotions control our character. He's such a porch monkey."
3. "Kwame thought Bob was lashing out at him for being a stoic when Bob called him a "porch monkey," but Bob was simply an obnoxious racist. Kwame practiced stoicism however and laughed it off, just making non-stoic Bob angrier.
by revoLucian1776 February 15, 2023
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porch dick

Anyone who sits on their porch and shouts rude and obnoxious comments to people walking by. first heard on talking dead.
I can't believe he said that to us while we were walking by, he is such a porch dick.
by Heydude2015 March 09, 2015
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porch monkey

A derogatory for a person of african or african american decent. BUT it could also mean a generally lazy person. This term came to be when you think of african americans sitting on there porch chatting it up. Also in the movie Clerks II, the sequal to Clerks, Randal tries to reclaim it as a new term for lazy people. And thus offends several customers and his boss.

*Police Officer sees Porch Monkey 4 Life written on the back of Randal's Mooby Uniform and looks flabbergasted*

Randal: Im taking it back!

EX2

Racist: You filthy crack smoking porch monkey!
by Dodectabone July 22, 2006
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porch grease

The slippery substance that jigaboo's leave behind on the edge of their porch whenever they overdose on crack rock and fall to the ground.
I slipped on something and fell when trying to collect rent from that porch monkey.. It smells like ass so I can't tell if its dog shit or some porch grease.
by eGod March 12, 2003
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Porch Cracker

Red necks who sit out all day in a chair smoking cigarettes, flying drones around there neighbors, watching them while they undress.
by Big Elote Juan o' Juan December 05, 2016
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porch monkey

A person who sits on the porch and watches the neighbors.

A small child that enjoys being on the porch.
And what can I get for you, little porch monkey? Oh its okay, I'm taking it back.
by Randall G June 04, 2006
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The Porch Life

The Porch Life is the place you can just go and kick it and not worry about anything else. We sit around and chill all day. Ganja is our medicine and escape. We are the kids your parents warned you about. When we arrive, you know the party has started. Haters wish they could be us, and we just laugh at them. We will all be successful one day and there's nothing you can do to stop us. We have fun and still make better grades than you. (With the exception of one) Porch Life til the next life.
P.S. Not everyone is welcome at the porch.
I'm living The Porch Life, and you are jealous.

Ill be at the Porch.
by PLFL December 07, 2011
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