Lapslap

A prank where you quickly close someone's laptop when they're not expecting it or in the middle of working with it. Ideally the laptop is set to hibernate or shut down when the lid is closed so they have to then reboot their computer.

Best practice is to shout 'Awww, lapslap!' when lapslapping someone.

"Fuck, I just got lapslapped and my computer takes ages to restart... and I didn't save my essay."

by David Letterman 1234 March 11, 2009

According to all known laws of aviation pt 1

There is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry?
- Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!

Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

According to all known laws of aviation pt 1

"Hey, did you know I memorized 1500 words of the bee movie script?"

"Why in the everloving FUCK would you do that?"

"Wanna hear it?"

"N-"

" According to all know laws of aviation,

There is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry?
- Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!

Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!"

by Teiven December 8, 2020

Nigella Lawson

A ridiculously attractive, sexy British TV chef. There are other British TV chefs, but she is definitely the most enjoyable to watch. Her dialogue is easier to follow than that of Jamie Oliver (who talks like he is on acid), and she doesn't have the crass vocabulary of Gordon Ramsay. She is especially popular with males aged 18-40, and if you ever watch one of her shows you will see why. Basically she possesses an incredible bust, and has a sensual demeanor that makes her hot, even when cutting onions or scaling a fish.

Her recipes are actually pretty neat too.

I don't normally watch cooking shows, but I make an exception if it has Nigella in it

I would rather spend a day with Nigella Lawson than a whole week with Megan Fox. Megan is fine, but Nigella is fiiiiiiner

by sahboh11 November 30, 2011

Lawsuit

Wealth transfer in the name of justice.

Criminal cases are about paying time for doing the crime; but civil lawsuits are just about an attempt at wealth transfer in the name of justice.

by IndySparkPlug January 11, 2011

lawpplesauce

to laugh out loud (lol) after ganking the shit out of a squishy noob in wow that has no resillience

Dayyyum i just pwned that squishy noob, he was total lawpplesauce

by J dawg L January 20, 2009

Lawnseeding

The act of spreading one's semen in multiple directions during ejaculation in a manner similar to that of spreading grass seed.

Them hoes need lawnseeding

by SleepyBoat July 12, 2016

The Laws of Hipsterism

1) One's goal shalt always be in contradiction with one's actions (the Irony Law). The is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.

2) Nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.

2) Finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.

Ye Application of The Laws of Hipsterism:

#1
Normal Person: Hey you want to go shopping with me?
Hipster female: No, I don't care about how I look.

(Hipster Female shalt then traverse to ye Olde Thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)

#2
Normal Person: Hey! I like this artist. Their music is good!!

(Thou buys/downloads album to listen to)

Hipster Guy: *No inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.

(Thou buys Vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases Vinyls.)

#3
Hipster One: I hate hipsters.

Hipster Two: Me too! God! I'm going to write an entry in Olde English and send it into Urban Dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!

Hipster One: Right on dude!! Hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?

Hipster Two: Sorry man, but I can't I'll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike's in the shop right now.

Hipster One: It's cool dude...I...I love you.

Hipster Two: I...I love you too.
________________________________________________

THESE ARE THE RULES TO BE SPREAD FAR ABOVE THE SKY AND ACROSS THE LAND: FOREVER AND EARNESTLY, UN-IRONICALLY AND FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!!!

by smellls November 6, 2011