Pastorbate

What a pastor must do to keep sexually abstinent.

"I haven't had sex since I became a pastor and now I pastorbate everyday!"

by The Action. August 23, 2011

Pasturbation

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

by fraying August 31, 2010

plasterbate

To masturbate while being plastered (severely intoxicated)

"Today sucked, I am just going to chug this fine Lagavulin and go plasterbate"

by YuriN March 18, 2008

Pastorbation

Pas-tor-ba-tion (noun)

The act of self-satisfaction while under the supervision / assistance of one's religious leader or pastor

OR

The execution of sexual acts performed on or by one's religious leader

It is a shame.... those altar boys were victims of pastorbation.

by Ronan XVII November 10, 2008

posturbate

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.

Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.

by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007

pastorbation

Masturbation by a priest while hearing an especially steamy confession.

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

posturbate

When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.

You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.

by jigganut January 2, 2015