Maynard James Keenan 

My lord and savior. The ideas behind his music point to the only meaningful religion in this world, the faith of your soul. I'm not talking about Christianity either.

I think I'd crap my pants if I had to talk to Maynard James Keenan face-to-face. I mean what the fuck do you say to someone like that? Nice hair?

Maynard James Keenan by Dan May 13, 2005

Maynard James Keenan 

Maynard is one of the most talented people ever. He is the lead singer of Tool and A Perfect Circle. If you don't know Maynard, then you're stupid.

What else can I say? He is a god!

Maynard James Keenan by Alex January 6, 2005

Maynard James Keenan 

A dude who likes making music and is-if judging on musical standards and not personal bias-pretty damn good at it. In my personal opinion a great screamer, but that's not for everybody. Come on folks, shut the fuck up about him being a "god". If you actually got any of his music you'd realize he's just dicking around when he acts like he has an ego because existence itself doesn't matter at all and he knows that, so why not let your anger and other demons out in a song so you can move on with your day?

In other words? Stop being that dude who listens to Sober and goes "This song is about me and my girlfriend. -Sob.-" No, no it's not.

Oh and by the way, kudos to someone for finally writing a song telling fans who rag on their band to fuck off. If you actually listen to Hooker With A Penis, it's directed at fans who are like "ONGZ THIS SOUNDS TOO MAINSTREAM!" and the fact that they support the mainstream just by listening to Tool because you're still giving money to record companies run by corporate fatcats, thus creating awful hypocrisy.

Tool (ironic): Oh my god, Maynard James Keenan is such a god, I wanna fuck him all night long cuz he's like so hot and relates to me so much. Listen to Sober! It's such a great song for when you're feeling bummed after a breakup.

Non-tool: ...I think maybe you're just retarded and don't get it. Like, anything about life. At all. I don't even know why someone would bother trying to explain this on Urban Dictionary.

Maynard James Keenan by DoesItReallyMatterSeriously January 7, 2010

Maynard James Keenan 

A short, but very talented little man who is the lead singer for the legendary hard rock band Tool. He has an incredible voice but thinks a bit too highly of himself, and pretty much thinks he and the band are more intelligent than anyone else. He basically thinks only he is the one who has the intelligent view on life. He really is intelligent, but he needs to chill out a bit.

Maynard James Keenan-I hate our fans. Every religion is false because I'm so intellectual. You're dumb because you have a different theory on the meaning of life than me. Everyone who lives in L.A. is a dipshit.

Maynard James Keenan by The Mandon November 8, 2010

Maynard James Keenan 

Extremely talented asshole who doesn't appreciate his sickingly adoring fans, who almost measure at the same height of wankerdom as Maynard himself. Every one of them would give him a rimjob on command, and seem to also like Trent Reznor (See; Overrated).

"OH MAH GOD, MAYNARD IS LYKE DA BEST EVA~! HE IS MY GOD! Not dat i beleev in god cos it aint cool."

"You hit your girlfriend? You ass, when did you become such a Maynard?"

Maynard James Keenan by Indeedeth! December 21, 2004

Maynard James Keenan 

Maynard is titties. Titties are Maynard.

lol, maynard is titties.

Maynard James Keenan by Drewhallsucks.com September 4, 2004

Maynard James Keenan 

Picture a burnt Kermit the Frog. Now picture that thing yelling nonsense in front of a band that quit trying in 1995. That's it.

An example of the above definition of Maynard James Keenan is pretty much everything from mid-way through the album "Undertow" until the present. Also, he is friends with Tori Amos, so that should be enough, right?

Maynard James Keenan by simpson74 August 6, 2010