The coomer (Pronounced COOM-er) is an elusive creature. It is on the list of critically endangered species and was once thought to be a myth due to the rarity of these beasts. They are said to be primarily solitary creatures, though at least half a dozen confirmed sightings of coomers in packs of 3-6 have been stated.
They are said to reside in
small rooms (known as coomer nests),floors littered with custom-made
waifu pillows and coom from the coomer itself.
When confronted, a coomer
may become enraged, attacking the offender and in rare cases
even stuffing the
victim into a homemade coom
jar. Coomer attacks are almost always fatal and although they do not happen often due to the rarity of encountering one, only
two have lived to tell the tale.
The hide of a coomer goes for 500,000 USD, while a gallon of coomer coom goes for 1,000,000 USD on the black market. The coom of a coomer is said to have rejuvenating properties when mixed with cow urine and emo
juice in traditional Chinese medicines.
My best friend went missing when hiking in a remote area of
Alaska in 1993, and his body was recovered from a field a year later. The case has never been solved, but research suggests that the cause of
death was likely an attack by
wild coomers.
