crywank

a small anti-folk duo from machester, england. they've been around for almost a decade, yet still aren't appriciated nearly as much as they should be. they've made 11 albums and dozens of songs. the best way i can describe their music is like a depressed partner or friend giving you a comforting hug while crying, even though they are the sad one. just a really good band :)

person 1: "hey, what's your favorite band ?"
person 2: "oh, i just discovered this pretty small band called crywank, i really like their stuff."
person 1: "well that's an interesting band name !"

crywank by no, i think i will February 1, 2021

Crywank

Crying whilst having a wank/masturbating. When life is that bad that you have resort to comfort wanking and kleenex.

Aww boohoo your team lost what are you gonna do? How bout go in the corner and have a crywank?

Crywank by thegirlwhocriedhippo February 3, 2010

Crywank

Crywank are a British anti-folk band based out of Manchester, England. The band is a duo consisting of vocalist/guitarist and founder Jay Clayton, and drummer Dan Watson, who joined in 2012. Allmusic describes their body of work as containing "sadness, paranoia, misery, and dry humor", comparing them to AJJ or 'a sarcastic Bright Eyes'. The group have independently released six full length albums. They have previously toured the UK, Ireland, parts of mainland Europe, Australia, and Canada.

Albums:
James Is Going To Die Soon – Self release, MP3 (2010) and Mount Seldom Records, Cassette, MP3 (2018)
Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown – Self release, MP3 (2012) and Mount Seldom Records, Cassette, MP3 (2018)
Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid – Self release, MP3 (2013) and Mutant League Records, 12" LP, CD, MP3 (2015)
Don't Piss On Me, I'm Already Dead – Self release, MP3, CD (2016)
Egg on face. Foot in mouth. Wriggling Wriggling Wriggling. – Self release, MP3 (2017) and Mount Seldom Records, Cassette, MP3 (2018)
Wearing Beige On A Grey Day – Self release, MP3, Cassette (2019)
Fist Me 'Til Your Hand Comes Out My Mouth – Self release, MP3 (2020)

That man over there listens to Crywank. He must have a large penis.

Crywank by Komuro February 17, 2021

Crywank

Collective noun for NZ gun owners who opposed the 2019 Arms Amendment Bill.

The Parliamentary debate was briefly interrupted by a loud crywank led by Mr Tipple, which ultimately proved ineffective

Crywank by Maestro Sartori April 11, 2019

Crywank

The action of wanking in tears after a date gone wrong.

Liam had a terrible date, she said even God would hate him and in tears like the Loser Idiot Moron Asshole that he was he has a Crywank and became the cry- wanker .

Crywank by JammyJockstrap November 9, 2025

Crywank

Used in a sentence to describe what a person or group of people are doing who are easily offended by insignificant or trivial "things."
Or who get upset when they realise the world does not, in fact, revolve around them.

Look at all you delicate petals crywanking over a story. Hilarious.

Omg, nooooo, the shop didn't put up with your bullshit crywank and threw you out. Good for them. Grow up.

Crywank by Stuffynz January 12, 2026

posh crywank 

The act of crying into a sock then using it to masterbate.

E.g. "I was really upset last night so I had a posh crywank".

posh crywank by rsaubole February 21, 2020