Swiming, /schwī'mɪ̈ng/,(
goblin): a ritual water
sport engaged in by the
goblin race approximately 30,000 years ago during the Mattonian age. Every winter, participants were pitted against one another in a contest of bravery. archaeologists can only speculate from ancient translations of
stone tablets that the maturity rite began with an affirmation of fertility, known as the "clasping of hands". after the clasping of hands the goblins seek out a wet dark environment, like an aquatic
cave, under a bridge or waterfall. the rest of the ritual is shrouded in esoteric
knowledge and secrecy. it appears a main element of the mythology centered around grunt beetle larvae. grunt beetles
lie hibernating in logs during the winter, and so their aphrodisiac secretions remain acutely potent in their glands. unfortunately not much is known about the actual competition except that it appears the grunt beetle larvae were massaged into the gonads of one's rival. it's unclear how victory was declared and defeat was recognized, but everyone leaves the cave a winner