When you are about to take a shit are are just about to release your load and you have a massive sneeze..This then shoots your poo at an amazing speed plunging straight down into your toilet like a torpedo. This will usually cause large splashes and get your bum wet.
When you have a cold you will most likely experience more than one brown torpedo
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)