A middle stage of the creation of an erection, normally brought about by non-tactile means, which -- if mistaken for a completely flaccid penis -- would make one viewing the penis think the gentleman is exceedingly well-hung.

So she answers the door with some jean shorts on, and all of a sudden I have a 3/4 distorter in my pants.

3/4 distorter by DonQuiKong July 20, 2011

Get merch

an effigy distorted

Metal band from Orlando, Florida. These guys formed in 2010, and haven't recorded ANYTHING until 2012. They, along with all of their fans, agree that they suck, yet they're still around and people (like me) still go to their shows for no good reason.

" hey you know that band An Effigy Distorted?"
" yeah i went to their last show, they sucked, can't wait for the next one!"

an effigy distorted by hoodlemaster February 3, 2012

Get merch

Distorted bitch

A term given to people that make completely unrealistic bitmojis on snapchat. Specifically referring to the people that make their bitmojis appear as if they are 99.9% more attractive than they are in reality. This can make many people victim after adding someone on snapchat based on their bitmojis promising looks, but lowkey you are about to start a streak with a 15 ton loch ness monster that happens to still be in junior high... Dafuq is this..

I added this girl on snapchat with a decent looking bitmoji the other day. Turns out it was an old ass gilf that was trying to smash. That distorted bitch played some disieving ass shit on me. Oh well I guess, I'm not picky we got 14 day streak rn lol!

Distorted bitch by Platezz January 25, 2018

Get merch

distorted time lens

Another way of saying that someone does not have a reliable sense of time.

I’ve spent my life trying to pin down the complex interaction between genetic and environmental factors that have gone into my well-known and intractable distorted time lens.

distorted time lens by Dr Bunnygirl May 18, 2023

Get merch

Shuffle