Platezz's definitions

Jupiter gas

When an extremely fat person's natural scent is enough to disintegrate any fly within 10 miles. No exaggeration..

Natural habitats these smells can be discovered in:
- found lurking through walmart under a fat scooter drivers ass
-found near bleachers under a 2 ton of fun mans ass that is taking up 3 seats at a sporting event.

Cause of death: was trapped in public bathroom filled with Jupiter gas.

by Platezz January 25, 2018

shadowed thot

The hoe over there that hasn't received much of her usual attention from guys even after many attempts. They normally lose attention after becoming too clingy or their might just be new hoe in the building taking up all her business.

"I've noticed that lacey has become a shadowed thot lately. She looks extra desperate today. I'll see you later, I'm going to try and smash."

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Laws of the Weinhold

Act of not giving af until shit becomes personal. Then you are physically required to handle the situation by any means fucking necessary.

The 12 law's of Weinhold:
- Fuck her right in the pussy (FHRITP)
- drink protein shakes and beer
- be the party god
- must experience being blacked out at least once
- catch STD's like pokeman
- there are only 2 genders..

- master the theory of the chick magnet
- have sex into your elderly age
- avoid the friendzone like the plague
- Bust a mother fuckers head open if they be asking for it
- lift heavy fucky weights
- make others follow these rules

After my buddy followed the laws of the weinhold he was admitted to a hospital for a month before he died. It was neat

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Lunar landing

A sexual action that involves a man trust falling onto the back side of a women. As the man is landing he needs to calculate for his penis to enter the anal cavity perfectly. Miscalculation lead to a broken dick. *Not a game for the family to play*

“Bro, I finally pulled off a lunar landing on my girlfriend last night. It only took four painful attempts before I stabbed the moon.”

by Platezz January 25, 2018

bona lisa

When a really bland looking chick gives you a boner for a some odd reason. At this point in your life you will really stop and think about how low your standards have become..

Me: Dude I don’t know what it is about our 80 year old librarian woman, but damn she keeps giving me a bona lisa.

Friend: I feel like you need to see a therapist my dude

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Abort-miss-tion

When you find you got the bitch pregnant, so you light firecrackers off in her vagina to discard of any traces of life. This will most certainly make you lose your girlfriend unless she's into that. She will also probably be sent to an intensive care unit.

I'm going to be locked up in prison for like 25 years after performing an Abort-miss-tion on my gal.

by Platezz January 25, 2018

Night Smear

The act of dragging your ass crack down a person's nose while they sleep. This is best after you get done working out that way you are soggy af. When they wake up they will wonder why everything smells like shit and why their nose is so sticky.

victim: Why the fuck does everything in my damn house smell like shit!
me: Someone at the party gave you a Night Smear last night after you passed out.
victim: I'm going to kill those motherfuckers!

by Platezz January 24, 2018