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Tech Sexport 

When having sex, one person is paying more attention to some form of technology (Computer, TV, Videogames exc.) this in turn gives them help to pleasure their partner better then ever. Normally it is a man using the sexport
Rick: Dude so last night I was watching Lost when me and Sara were getting it on. She said it was the best sex ever.

Josh: Way to use that Tech Sexport
Tech Sexport by Davidiculous July 5, 2011
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Tech-shit 

to confuse someone with technology related jargon. Or to use a technological excuse for not doing something.
don't tech-shit me, I know you didn't text. Her: I sent the email, perhaps it's the server. Me: Honey, please do not tech-shit me!
Tech-shit by Julce June 28, 2012

Tier 2 Tech Support 

Typical held by large males who bath infrequently. Ways to identify the Tier 2 technician:

1. Addicted to WOW (World of Warcraft)
2. Plays D&D on lunch breaks.
3. Can recite word for word any Monty Python Movie. (Ditto for any Star Wars)
4. Normally unkempt, dirty, smells especially offensive after an all night LAN party.
5. Breath can knock a buzzard off a caca wagon at 50 yards.
6. Wears retro video game t-shirts.
7. Thinks everyone that matters can read binary.
8. Thinks most people they speak to on the phone are in need of an IQ injection.
9. Still has infantile fantasies about "Threes Company" stars.
10. Will often work for bandwidth.
Upon hearing that a new Star Wars film was going to be released, Andrew a Tier 2 Tech Support Agent put in for his vacation so that he could have a chance being first in to see the movie.
Tier 2 Tech Support by Dan English September 10, 2006

tech suckport 

English inproficient people, most of who are from China and India, that you must call when you are experiencing errors that make a software product unusable. If you can get a person that can speak some slight resemblance of the English language, consider yourself very lucky. Even then 99% percent of the time they will not be of any help whatsoever, and cause further confusion and even more errors.
Bob: This program is not working. Why don't I call Tech Support?
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport.
Bob: Yes
(Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport)

Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu?
Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005.
Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya?
Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh?
Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder.
Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle.
Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem?
Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh?
Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error.
Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf.
Bob: Can your coworker speak English?
Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no.
Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless.
Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit.
(Bob slams down the phone)
tech suckport by Boxcar Bob August 2, 2007

Tech shame 

v.
1. To suggest someones inferiority for not using or knowing about a piece of technology
2. A snobby put down of someones technical ability or knowledge

n.
1. shame directed towards technical knowledge or ability
'Jacob tech shamed Sunil again at lunch because he still hasn't downloaded Venmo.'
Jacob needs to check his tech privilege; his tech shaming is out of control.'
Tech shame by theseaward August 24, 2016

tech support 

A modality by which corporations - especially american ones - can figuratively substantiate their marketing claims of providing assistance without actually having to provide any.
> On Thu, July 20, 2006 5:07 pm, Mario R. Sanchez, Ph.D. wrote:
> Raymond J. (10337): Hi, my name is Raymond J. (10337). How may I help you?
> mario: hi
> Raymond J. (10337): Hello.
> Raymond J. (10337): Before we begin, I need to ask a few questions that will help me assist you better.
> mario: if i give you a serial number, can you tell me 1)who it was sold
> to
> originally and/or 2)the history of the product?
> Raymond J. (10337): Can I have your name please?
> mario: mario
> Raymond J. (10337): Thank you Mario.
> Raymond J. (10337): May I have the model and version of your device?
> mario: model wpg54g
> mario: it has no version info
> Raymond J. (10337): How about your phone number with the area code?
> mario: 305-xxx-xxxx
> Raymond J. (10337): Thank you for giving all these information.
> Raymond J. (10337): What is the problem you are experiencing with your
> Linksys product?
> mario: did you read my first question?
> mario: all i want to know is if i give you a model and serial number,
> can
> linksys tell me who originally bought the product?
> Raymond J. (10337): Okay.
> Raymond J. (10337): Mario I'm sorry but I can't.
> mario: who can?
> Raymond J. (10337): Mario where did you get router?
> mario: i am looking to buy it -
> Raymond J. (10337): I see.
> Raymond J. (10337): I suggest you buy it in best buy.
> mario: i am looking to linksys for a simple answer: can ANYONE in
> linksys
> tell me who FIRST purchased a product - if i provide model and serial
> number
> Raymond J. (10337): Okay.
> Raymond J. (10337): The customer.
> mario: what does "the customer" mean?
> Raymond J. (10337): I see.
> Raymond J. (10337): The retailers ordered the product from linksys and
> the consumer purchased it from the feratilers.
> Raymond J. (10337): Retailers I mean.
> mario: lets try this again: WHO DID LINKSYS SELL THE PRODUCT TO
> "INITIALLY"?
> Raymond J. (10337): Linksys is the manufacturer.
> Raymond J. (10337): And the retailers are the distributors.
> mario: can i speak with a supervisor that may be able to understand this
> simple question?
> Raymond J. (10337): Linksys sell there products to the retailers.
> mario: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Raymond J. (10337): I'm sorry for that.
> mario: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Raymond J. (10337): Okay.
> mario: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Raymond J. (10337): I'm sorry but there is no supervisor available at here
> mario: what? do you work alone, and un-supervised?
> Raymond J. (10337): Yes, I can answer that question. What is your phone number and I can help you.
> mario: i already gave you my phone number. all i want to know is to whom did linksys sell a product to
> Raymond J. (10337): Okay. Yes, Linksys sells products.
> mario: now, to WHOM - to what person - to what company - did Linksys sell one particular product to?
> Raymond J. (10337): You can buy one product at best buy.
> mario: is best buy the only company linksys sells products to?
> Raymond J. (10337): I see. When you buy a Linksys its the best buy.
> mario: great, another waste of time tech support ordeal via india.

Tech support syndrome 

When an issue in a computer seems to be fixed when you are on the phone with tech support, but as soon as you are off the phone, the issue comes back full fledged.
Britney: Is your computer fixed?
Alyssa: No, its acting weird still.
Britteny: Wasn't it working when you were on the phone with John before today?
Alyssa: Yes, but its not working anymore. It stopped working as soon as we hung up.
Britteny: I guess your computer has tech support syndrome.
Alyssa: Yeah.