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Tortoise wearing jeans 

Relating to the fable of the tortoise and the hare (with jeans).
Bro you're such a tortoise wearing jeans

Bear Wearing Footy Pajamas 

When someone pretends to be sweet and child like but underneath they are still wild and unpredictable like a Bear. Typically evil in nature pretending to be good.
Adam: I like Eric, he's such a nice guy.
Clint: No Way, that dude is just a Bear wearing Footy Pajamas, you can't trust his outer apperance.

wearing me like a necklace 

when lesbians perform the act of cunnilingus
Damn, she was wearing me like a necklace last night

Wearing thin

Said when someone or something is no longer funny and is now getting on your nerves.
Kevin is so not funny anymore. His whole act is just wearing thin.
Wearing thin by Maybelline October 22, 2007

Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving 

n: an illegal underground sport in which players must weave an entire basket underwater on one breath. If more than one player should manage to finish, the one who has created the most intricate or cleanest basket is kept alive while other contestants are shot. Most players drown in their first match. Some variations occur in EUBW, such as mines, sharks, and harpoons.
Bill: Mrs. Johnson, I'm so sorry about your loss. But how did your son die?

Mrs. Johnson: He drowned in an Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving tournament.

Bill: God rest his soul.

underwater basket weaving 

an easy or useless college course, whether real or not
He dismayed that the courses in underwater basket weaving were growing more common every year.