stalking my life on the boardwalk

When a person has latched onto you and tracks your every move, to the point that you can't leave your house without being paranoid about the person mysteriously popping up and interrogating you.

Origin: The episode of Jersey Shore when Pauly D's girl kept following him around as he hung out with friends on the boardwalk, and then called the house 3 times in a row to find out where he was.

1)
Girl: "Why didn't you call me last night? Where were you? Who were you with? I called you 3 times and you never called me back and I KNOW you got my messages!"
Boy: "OK, seriously, you are stalking my life on the boardwalk right now."

2)
Boy: "Hey, so you're single now? You dated for what, 7 months? And your ex transferred schools?"
Girl: "How did you know all that?"
Boy: "I checked your Facebook."
Girl: "Could you stop stalking my life on the boardwalk?"

stalking my life on the boardwalk by JHatesYourCrocs April 27, 2010

stalking my cock

Euphemism for masturbation.

I've been stalking my cock all morning trying to get rid of this hangover.

stalking my cock by SHLA June 23, 2011

stalking the neighborhood

something to do in the suburbs when you're bored. leave zucchinis on your neighbor's porches (but only on leave a zucchini on your neighbor's porch day), show up univited to people's houses you barely know, make a fool of yourself on the street.

man i'm bored what do you wanna do?
i dunno let's go stalk the neighborhood

stalking the neighborhood by v. March 30, 2005

stalking mangina 

10 foot tall creature who stalks male teens

The stalking mangina is a perverted nut job.

stalking mangina by super man7890 August 5, 2008

stalking horse 

Someone or something whose role is to become the focal point for, or the initiator of, a debate or challenge. However, in reality their leadership role is an illusion, and the stalking horse is really working to promote a challenge or debate that will benefit a third party whose identity remains a secret.

Pete: "You been watching what them Clintons are up to?"
Cook: "I've been trying to ignore them now for 12 years."
Pete: "Well Slick Willie has been attacking Obama."
Cook: "Why?"
Pete: "Well he is acting as a stalking horse for Hillary to damage Obama's rep."
Cook: "I figured Obama already damaged his rep."
Pete: "Not as much as Willie can."
Cook: "Your wisdom is boundless."

stalking horse by Pete Dick February 13, 2008

stalking the book

adding over 500 friends on facebook, people you don't even know, so that you can spend hours scanning through their posted pictures and reading their comments

Rachel spent hours online stalking the book.

stalking the book by foe stigmund August 8, 2009

stalking men 

what Filip does on the downlow

filip shopping cart stalking men nothing a hot bath wouldn’t cure

stalking men by user746_69 November 22, 2022