The Cloudy Monocle 

The act of ejaculating in someones eye.

John: That vagrant over there just gave me the cloudy monocle...

Roger: Like he handed you a vintage piece of eyewear?

John: No he fucking jizzed in my fucking eye!

The Cloudy Monocle by PolarKingBear January 2, 2010

beer monocle 

like beer goggles, except the person with the monocle on is so drunk one eye is closed shut...therefore, turning the goggles into a monocle.

I would have never fucked that fat whore had i not been wearing the beer monocle.

beer monocle by rob z February 15, 2005

whiskey monocle 

A device put in place shortly after achieving a buzz. Skews potential mate rating scale in favor of the person being viewed through the monocle.

Bar Guy 1: "Wow, I'd need serious beer goggles for her!"
Bar Guy 2: "Nah, If I put on my whiskey monocle and close one eye... she is totally doable."

whiskey monocle by SteveTech October 15, 2008

Bi-monocle 

Wearing a monocle on each eye to make it look like one is wearing glasses.

"Anyone can wear glasses...but it takes skill to manage wearing Bi-monocles."

Bi-monocle by randymachomansavage11 July 22, 2012

hot monocle

Similar to a mayonaise monocle but actually in the eye, causing a burning sensation to the victim.

See seagulling.

Holy damn, thats no seagull - I've got a hot monocle!

hot monocle by I'm not Tom! June 28, 2004

The Monocle 

When you remove a girl’s glass eye and thrust your penis in and out of her eye socket.

I monocled her last night

I want to stab my girlfriend’s eye out so I can do "The Monocle" on her.

The Monocle by SayThwat February 5, 2009

Hot monocle

The result of ejaculating in another persons eye. Also known as 'pink eye'.

I gave your mother a hot monocle last night.

Hot monocle by Baulchy666 August 17, 2009