Eighth-Life Crisis

A variation of half-life and quarter-life crises, due to copious amounts of stress and high school struggles, you are subjected to questions such as "Why am I trying?", "What's the point of going to a good college?" "what will happen if I bomb my AP and SAT exams?"

Person 1: I just failed my calculus exam, so my grade dropped to a C, what is life.
Person 2: Someone's having an eighth-life crisis

Eighth-Life Crisis by betaji123 May 13, 2016

Midlife Crisis 

When a person regrets how they have lived his or her life, and they attempt to 'correct' their mental issue in a variety of ways which usually always harms themselves or those closest to them.

Bob: "Hey Tim, how's it going brah?! I just had a revelation. I realize I hate my life up to now and feel like I jumped into this marriage. I'm planning to divorce my wife and am gonna sell this stupid station wagon. Pretty badass huh?"

Tim: "Umm, Bob? You're 47 years old. You've been married for 24 years, have 3 kids and another on the way. And what does brah mean? I think you're having a midlife crisis, you might want to rethink this. I mean you have a plastic hip and a pacemaker!"

Bob: "Nah you're crazy brah, I already asked that hot intern out and put a down payment on a Corvette. Life is gonna be great. And let's keep that pacemaker thing on the downlow."

Tim: "But you'll have to pay child support, alimony, and still have your 'great life' to pay for."

Bob: "Timmy my friend, that's what credit cards are for."

Tim: "Whatever. Enjoy bankruptcy."

Midlife Crisis by Zastro November 28, 2009

Crisis Queen 

A Crisis Queen is someone who profits or takes pleasure in injecting themselves into an event of stress or calamity. They often have very little connection to the problem at hand but that does not stop them from swooping in and "helping out". The real problem is that they most often make the situation worse and can turn a small incident into a major headache. They can be either a man or a woman, a reverend or a minister. The Crisis Queen is related to Drama Queen but the CQ often has an ulterior motive and wants to see the situation get negative. They are basically a high profile ambulance chaser with higher stakes.

General Motors and the Unions were close to an agreement on their contracts until the Crisis Queens got involved. Now it looks like they're all headed towards bankruptcy.
OR:
As if we these poor flood victims weren't in bad enough shape, now the Crisis Queen has arrived and wants to blame the government for not stopping the rains.

Crisis Queen by miwok April 7, 2009

subliminal criminal 

A criminal who is not consciously aware of being a criminal.

He takes whatever he needs and does whatever he wants, he’s a subliminal criminal.

subliminal criminal by Dr Bunnygirl July 7, 2021

Existential Crisis 

Danisnotonfire

Existential crisis in the works:
Dan: Making some cereal......why do I exist? Life is pointless....
Dan: Time to make a video! So fun! .....One day I and everyone I love will be dead. We're so alone in the universe

Existential Crisis by dungman October 14, 2013

Cuban Missile Crisis 

when you realize the hot Latina you're about to fuck may in fact have a dick

i had to deal with a cuban missile crisis after we left the bar and sofia got a hard on.

Cuban Missile Crisis by Porkrhind December 21, 2016

Smooth Criminal

Something you just got hit by.

You've been hit by—
You've been hit by—
A Smooth Criminal

Smooth Criminal by Biggest Boye June 4, 2018