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1) The seventh track on Michael Jackon's Bad album. A "fantasy" song that is, what Thriller is to Thriller, to Bad. Thriller took you to zombie land. Smooth Criminal reminds you Sunday was a black day and has you wondering whether Annie is okay now.

2) One of the most amazingly choreographed music videos ever by the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson is a smooth criminal in his music video. In reality, he's "smooth but not criminal".
by rolling_star October 22, 2010
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3
When you take a shit and wipe your ass and the paper is clean.The shit left no residue on your ass, so its a smooth criminal.
Wow I took a shit, and as i wiped my ass I realised it was a smooth criminal bro,
Bless your clean ass boy
by haggybiatch October 09, 2016
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5
When someone you work with is secretly watching porn on his computer and spanking his monkey under the desk without getting caught.
Hey Sgt Jones the CG didn't even see you looking at that dude on dude gay animal porn at work yesterday. You smooth criminal!!!!!!!
by secret December 01, 2003
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6
To nonchalantly avoid an argument whether or not it is already occurring by making direct eye contact and leaving the room or area, with a calm stride.
Carol: So I was yelling at Ryan for talking to this girl and that rat bastard pulled a Smooth Criminal!

Shaniqua: Oh no he didn't!!

Carol: Yeah! He looked at me, then he walked right out.
by The Guy With The Pants January 18, 2011
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7
The act of pulling out before ejaculation and jamming your thumb in a girls butthole, then when she turns around in shock ejaculating on her face, then running away. The technique gets its name from the fact that the female usually makes a noise similar to Michael Jackson in the popular song of the same name.
I totally pulled off a smooth criminal with Dave’s mom last night.
by Armydog81 June 01, 2018
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