A group of blonde women riding in a black SUV together. The age group is 25 to 45 and they are often real estate agents. They use their blonde hair and upscale fashions to intimidate other agents who get in their way. They will happily strike a Charlie's Angel pose if you ask them nicely.
One real estate agent to another. "Oh, oh, get ready, here comes the Blonde Mafia".
The act of being run over and killed by a Toyota Prius. These electric cars are so quiet when running that people often don't hear them coming down the street and are mowed down like bowling pins. They step off the curb and never know what hit them.
"Did you hear what happened to Bob?" "Yes it was horrible, he didn't have a chance!" "Another victim of Priuscide".
December 03, 2008
A GEARU is a person who is incredibly proficient with all things technical. Be it a complicated video system, a new computer program, or simply a high tech toaster, this is the person everyone turns to for technical assistance. Some people have taken this ability to an even higher level and approach a near zen like aptitude to know what every button does on every machine. A true GEARU exudes a calm and confident aura of proficiency. They have transcended the minor label of computer geek and become the true guru of gear, the GEARU. Also known as "the keeper of the knobs".
"I've been working for hours trying to get this video system to work. No matter how many times I try to set it up it just doesn't want to operate. I guess I'll have to call Conrad, he's a real GEARU when it comes to these things."
November 10, 2008
A Crisis Queen is someone who profits or takes pleasure in injecting themselves into an event of stress or calamity. They often have very little connection to the problem at hand but that does not stop them from swooping in and "helping out". The real problem is that they most often make the situation worse and can turn a small incident into a major headache. They can be either a man or a woman, a reverend or a minister. The Crisis Queen is related to Drama Queen but the CQ often has an ulterior motive and wants to see the situation get negative. They are basically a high profile ambulance chaser with higher stakes.
General Motors and the Unions were close to an agreement on their contracts until the Crisis Queens got involved. Now it looks like they're all headed towards bankruptcy.
As if we these poor flood victims weren't in bad enough shape, now the Crisis Queen has arrived and wants to blame the government for not stopping the rains.
When someone responds to you in a manner that makes no sense whatsoever and moreover gives you lip about it, they are demonstrating an ODDITUDE. They are acting ODD with an attitude.
" I just told John we were out of beer and he told me it wasn't his job to run around and get beer for everyone. If he hadn't gone off on me I would have told him I was just about to go the store to buy more. Man that dude can cop an odditude!"
There comes a time when a person chooses to burn down their current facebook profile and re-build an entirely new facebook persona. This might occur after a divorce, a nasty break-up, or even moving to a new town. It involves un-friending everyone they know, deleting all their pictures and starting all over from scratch. The old you goes away and the new you emerges from the flames like a Phoenix rising.
Boy, Don had a rough divorce! He lost his car, his house, his kids. He's moving to Florida and starting fresh. He even did a Facebook Phoenix and wiped out his whole online profile. He's looking to re-build his entire life.
The biggest, roundest sunglasses you can find to hide your face as you do something REALLY embarrassing. They probably end up drawing more attention to you, but you don't care, since you don't have to look anyone in the eye.
I had to drive my mom's car into town and wouldn't you know it the El Molino cheerleaders were having a fundraising bake sale in front of Safeway. Luckily I was wearing my shameglasses, so driving a car with the license plate that says GRANNIE wasn't so bad.
September 06, 2010