Delusions of Contour

When a woman's makeup looks horrific to the general public but not to themselves.

In many instances, the amount she cakes on is in direct correlation to the degrees of her insecurity. So much so, they embody a feigned sense of confidence despite the glaring reality they look like Pennywise.

Sadly, a woman's girl friends will never be truthful to her when she exhibits clear symptoms of this condition. Since critiquing them warrants getting your car keyed, tires slashed and a minimum of 400 death threats sent the same hour, the most effective method of curing a delusional woman is either intensive psychotherapy or directions to the nearest circus.

Miriam: did you see Sara's face last night?
Bella: yeah omg! She looked AWFUL.
Miriam: right?? That girl must be suffering Delusions of Contour. Let's book a therapist for her.

by bredsheeran81 October 25, 2024

condour

(Noun)
An unattractive, obese woman who takes advantage of drunk men.

I got so drunk last night, I slept with a condour.
Really? That's the third time this month!

by wmrocker June 24, 2011

Conjour

Conjour, is a plastic coating or plastic container around cables.

Spud how's that cable looking?

It's sound you've just took the conjour off it

by Inspector hector June 30, 2017

Cosby Coutoure

An indie style characterized by wearing tacky and blindingly multicolored sweaters (often from Goodwill or another thrift store), khakis, velvet sweatpants, etc. The goal is to imitate the look of the Huxtable family on the Bill Cosby Show. The tacky sweater is key.

Dude 1: Dang, look at that guy in the green, blue, orange, mauve, vermillion, and chartruese wool sweater.

Dude 2: Is that Coogi?

Dude 1: No man, it's Cosby Coutoure.

by danger dave 111 February 18, 2009

contourtionism

The obsessive proclivity one may have toward placing objects or body parts into areas that will seemingly accommodate the chosen item's contours while occupying the maximum volume of the empty space.

"The top of my chiweenie's head fits perfectly into my eye socket like a furry little puzzle piece."
"Why do you know that?"
"It's contourtionism; I like to see stuff go together."
"Stuff like mammal meat?"
"Ohhhh yeah."
"Gross. Leave now or we'll see how well my elbow matches your orbit."

by knifestrauzen June 18, 2013

Contortionist

Insanely flexible person that can bend in many different and unique ways (like myself;)

I am a contortionist so I I'm flexible and can bend in so many different ways!!

by Grace S. Mill May 7, 2018

Cuntourage

A military term that relates to the group of deployed male soldiers who would follow a fobgoblin around with the hope of "hitting that", not because she is attractive in any way but because she possesses a vagina.

Check out the cuntourage on mandy, there is no way a overweight, ginger, single mum would get that much attention back home.

by don'tlookoverhere July 19, 2010