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psychotherapy 

an incredibly expensive process whereby you end up talking more about yourself than you ever thought possible, while learning virtually nothing and becoming increasingly entrenched in your skewed view of reality... or, if it works (which it sometimes does!) a sublime experience of subtle revelation, insight and healing that enables you to be a fuller, happier human who moves more freely through the world than you ever thought possible...
he spent a fortune on psychotherapy, but he's just become more self-obsessed...

or

i'd never have been able to really love my kids if it hadn't been for psychotherapy -
psychotherapy by embaby December 24, 2008
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psychotherapy 

A process in which you discuss your personal problems with a "psychotherapist\" who is unable to do anything about it. Not to be confused with psychiatry, in which you're given prescription medications in hope that your life improves.
Don't pay attention to anything you hear about psychotherapy -- IT DOESN'T WORK!!!
psychotherapy by Joan M May 17, 2007

Psychotherapy 

The goal is to make things better... But only when Jordan Peterson feels like it... And only in a way that HE HIMSELF approves of... Even if 70% of his colleagues disagree...
Hym "Psychotherapy is fun because you get to pay a guy to write you into his book that sells for 1 million dollars."
Psychotherapy by Hym Iam August 11, 2023

Massage Psychotherapy 

is a healing modality which works on physical pain by identifying and understanding the emotional pain that manifested the physical symptoms. Massage Psychotherapists incorporate therapeutic massage on resting facial expressions and body posture to work on repressed emotions. MPTs see the body, mind and spirit as a whole. They look at pain simply as some type of resistance to reality. MPTs are highly trained in medical massage and charge on average $180 per an hour session.
Who would have known that Massage Psychotherapy could fix her resting b*tch face?

psychotherapish

An adjective describing an action or statement likely to come from a psychotherapist.
Won’t you please spare me the psychotherapish lingo?
psychotherapish by Dr Bunnygirl March 23, 2020

Psycotherapologist 

when you either don't know, don't remember, or don't care enough to explain what kind of mental health professional you will be sent to.
Nosey bastard> Hey, are you seeing anyone about your mental health? You should REALLY see someone about it! Trust me! I've never had depression and have no idea if you could ever even afford it!
Me> Oh jeez...I'm seeing a psycotherapologist this weekend. Is that good enough for you, mate?
Psycotherapologist by mhm_yeah_nah February 26, 2020

psychotherapist 

My psychotherapist is SO BEAUTIFUL, I wish she would turn into PSYCHO-THE-RAPIST during my appointments. But, NO, she has some kind of professional ethics or something!
psychotherapist by Marten Fisher November 26, 2006