defense

heroin

i shoot that defense nigga !

defense by unshculdige02 May 9, 2009

self defense 

What an alcoholic woman would claim after she attacks you with a knife.

Police officer: Why did you stab your husband multiple times?
Woman holding liquor bottle: Uh... self defense?
Police officer: Sir, you're going to jail.
Man: What?!

self defense by L August 14, 2007

Russian Defense 

Strategy employed by the Russians in every single war they have ever fought. Basically involves digging in, sending suicidal charges of men, mostly unarmed to the slaughter, and hoping the winter sets in quickly and kills the invading army.

Notable successes: Napoleonic Invasion of Russia, Crimean War, Operation Barbarossa (Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union during World War 2).
Notable Losses: World War 1 (The winter killed the Russians due to significant logistical errors - the Germans also helped).

Aleksander: Should we try and hold of the invading army?
Sasha: Nah, we'll just employ the Russian Defense and let mother nature take care of this "great land". Pass me more Vodka!

Russian Defense by Agent Red October 19, 2010

Chuck Norris Zombie Defense League

(AKA CNZDL)

The only league known to man that includes a league within a league, hence the leage of extrordinary gentlemen being created for the sole purpose of killing zombies created by Chuck Norris's bad dreams.

Members include:

Mel Gibson

Sean Connery

Shaq

You With The Face

and many, many more

OMFG! I'm soo glad that teh Chuck Norris Zombie Defense League defeated The Flood in Halo!!

If it weren't for teh CNZDL, I would be eating you right now! Thanks Mel Gibson!

Chuck Norris Zombie Defense League by That kid from wolcott high May 16, 2010

Bluetooth Defense 

A tactic to defend oneself from those who see talking to oneself as an indication of mental problems.

Johnnie is sitting in his room, talking to himself, and his friends walk in on him. Johnnie will immediately deny that he was talking to himself and will instead claim that he was talking on Bluetooth. This is known as the Bluetooth defense

Bluetooth Defense by Joselino May 4, 2008

the toothpaste defense

An excuse people on probation use when they report to probation and have to do a breathalyzer and they fail. They say they just brushed their teeth, which leaves small reading of alcohol in their mouth.

Probation officer: You failed your breathalyzer, you are going to jail.

Probationer: No I didn't drink, I just brushed my teeth before I came here.

Probation officer: don't try the toothpaste defense on me! You're going to jail!

the toothpaste defense by Lupara2012 July 31, 2012

NIKE Defense 

The surface to air missile defense system the US used from 1955-1974. Nike surface to air missile system was named after the winged goddess of victory in Greek mythology. Two versions of this system defended the U.S. and other places from hostile aircraft, the Nike Ajax, and the Nike Hercules. Their primary purpose was to destroy any Soviet strategic/supersonic/longrange bombers like the Tu-95 Bear, or the Tu-160 Blackjack, or Tu-22M Backfire that ever came into US territory. There was never a need to use these nuclear tipped missiles, thank God.

There were 16 Nike Defense installations in the Detroit area.

NIKE Defense by Spartans! December 3, 2004