The act of a nun swimming underneath someone at the
beach and subsequently giving them a handjob, to the immense surprise and delight of the recipient. Although the act is not well known, it is surprisingly commonplace. In fact, the Honolulu Handshake, along with its common variant, the "Pope Grope", is the third most commonly practiced
beach activity enjoyed by nuns, preceded only by Guatemalan knife fights and building sand convents. In a 2005 poll, over 78% percent of nuns worldwide confessed to having given a Honolulu Handshake at least once in their nunhood, while the other
22% responded "Honolulu
Hand-what?" while smiling and winking mischievously. The Honolulu Handshake has alternatively been referred to as the "Sister Tickle", the "
Penguin Peekaboo", the "Miami Heresy", and, somewhat less creatively, the "Surprise Nun
Weiner Yank".
Schoolboy 1: "Yeah last weekend we went to the beach during a
nun wakeboarding contest."
Schoolboy
2: "Sounds fun. What happened?"
Schoolboy 1: "Well we were swimming and then all I saw was snorkels and veils and, next thing you know, I was up to my Pokemon cards in Honolulu Handshakes!"
Schoolboy
2: "
Sick! Who knew nuns were so
kinky?"
Schoolboy 1: "You'd better believe it. Let's just say communion wafers weren't the only thing those nuns were gobbling up on Sunday."
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Q: Whats black and white and
red all over?
A: A Honolulu Handshake after a Guatemalan knife fight
