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Lance Hardwood 

Mentioned in the television series How I Met Your Mother by Ted. Lance Hardwood is an everyday name that parents may choose to abandon their baby to an orphanage and leave a note saying that their name is Lance Hardwood, therefore ruining said child's life for ever and ever. This has been done time and time again with other names such as; Mike Clitoris, Hugh Jass, Mike Hock, Yurik Hunt. Spelling may vary. "On an completely unrelated note, all names mentioned above are often used by pornstar."
"Hey man did you see Lance Hardwood last night?"
"The pornstar???"
"Naw man, Lance Hardwood the reported."
Lance Hardwood by Jacques Lolz January 11, 2010

Dick hardwood

A man with a dick that is hard like wood so they're name is dick hardwood and very big dick and dick hardwood is hot
Dick hardwood by Dick hardwood February 13, 2022

The Hardwood (Floor) 

Many chicks today have the Hardwood (Floor) below the belt.

Oklahoma Hardwood Floor 

when a group of men line there boners up opposite eachother so that they interlock like a hardwood floor.

One side will go balls, head, balls, head; while the other side would be reversed.

After this a woman will walk upon the boners as to incite arousal.

Polishing the floor would be using the cum or lube to slicken up the floor before the woman's procession across.
Bernice is such a desparate slut. She asked me, Mr. Legs, Thumper, and Swamp Tiger to come over and make an Oklahoma Hardwood Floor, but only Swamp Tiger went.

hard wood floors 

a completely shaved pussy
Do the curtains match the carpet?
I have hard wood floors.
hard wood floors by Jims friend November 26, 2007

hard wood 

when you get it up, but are unable to ejaculate
dude i had time to kill so i tried masturbating, but all i got was hard wood
hard wood by spastic biscuit February 22, 2005