Hardwood Floors

Another term for the male penis (erect), particularly when contrasted with the term "carpet" or "tile floors"(referring to the female genitalia).

"I prefer hardwood floors to carpet!"(meaning the speaker prefers men instead of women)

Hardwood Floors by Angel-eek January 13, 2009

Lance Hardwood 

Mentioned in the television series How I Met Your Mother by Ted. Lance Hardwood is an everyday name that parents may choose to abandon their baby to an orphanage and leave a note saying that their name is Lance Hardwood, therefore ruining said child's life for ever and ever. This has been done time and time again with other names such as; Mike Clitoris, Hugh Jass, Mike Hock, Yurik Hunt. Spelling may vary. "On an completely unrelated note, all names mentioned above are often used by pornstar."

"Hey man did you see Lance Hardwood last night?"
"The pornstar???"
"Naw man, Lance Hardwood the reported."

Lance Hardwood by Jacques Lolz January 11, 2010

Dick hardwood

A man with a dick that is hard like wood so they're name is dick hardwood and very big dick and dick hardwood is hot

My name is dick hardwood

Dick hardwood by Dick hardwood February 13, 2022

The Hardwood (Floor) 

Bald pussy, shaved twat

Many chicks today have the Hardwood (Floor) below the belt.

The Hardwood (Floor) by MOCO & P-Phat March 26, 2012

Oklahoma Hardwood Floor 

when a group of men line there boners up opposite eachother so that they interlock like a hardwood floor.

One side will go balls, head, balls, head; while the other side would be reversed.

After this a woman will walk upon the boners as to incite arousal.

Polishing the floor would be using the cum or lube to slicken up the floor before the woman's procession across.

Bernice is such a desparate slut. She asked me, Mr. Legs, Thumper, and Swamp Tiger to come over and make an Oklahoma Hardwood Floor, but only Swamp Tiger went.

Oklahoma Hardwood Floor by Goatse I January 24, 2010

hard wood floors 

a completely shaved pussy

Do the curtains match the carpet?
I have hard wood floors.

hard wood floors by Jims friend November 26, 2007

hard wood 

when you get it up, but are unable to ejaculate

dude i had time to kill so i tried masturbating, but all i got was hard wood

hard wood by spastic biscuit February 22, 2005