The Duncan Theory 

The phenomenon that causes females to be inexplicably attracted to a random male, like moths to a flame. The art of seduction, commonly referred to as "The Duncan theory'', can have a tremendous effect on the victim.

Also known as "The Duncan Theorem"
The inexplicable phenomenon that causes females to be drawn to a single male (The Duncan) in droves.

The strength at which females are attracted is equal to the grade of symmetry of his face multiplied by the pitch of his voice, and reversed to his age divided by the concentration of his natural pheromones.

I lost my gf due to some guy named Duncan. I swear he just looked at her and she instantaneously became overwhelmingly wet... Hashtag The Duncan Theory

That new Duncan kid looked at me today, I felt a strong magnetic force pulling me closer to him, as my knickers got wet, he spoke "Hey Jenny" ... I swear to god I almost exploded #TheDuncanTheory

The Duncan Theory by Dawie's Suicidal Unicorn August 5, 2014

The Douchebag Theory 

The answer to why girls always date douchebags. It usually starts from a young age, when a boy is mean to a girl, the girl goes home and cries to her mom, her mom then says "it's okay, it's just because he likes you", the girl is then happy with that answer and moves on with life thinking everytime a guy is an ass to her, it just means they like her, she goes on thinking that until she is old enough to date guys, and then she proceeds to ask the biggest douchebag out, and that explains how all the assholes get hot girls.

The douchebag theory, the answer to everything.

The Douchebag Theory by itzadolfin!! June 6, 2011

the buffalo theory 

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

The buffalo theory is concrete proof that getting drunk is good for your intelligence

the buffalo theory by Raziel February 4, 2004

The Earbud Theory 

Boys that wear earbuds are automatically less toxic and more sweet than those that wear airpods. They are usually softer and kinder because they don’t necessarily care about things in the material world. Sources say it’s 100% scientifically factual.

“Look at that kid wearing earbuds, he’s so sweet!” “Yeah, he’s a great example of The Earbud Theory”

The Earbud Theory by eyeswoaface4838 April 3, 2023

The Walrus Theory 

The Walrus Theory is the general theory which states that when a guy is around other guys for so long that when he sees an ugly girl she appears very attractive. The theory is derived from sailors hundreds of years ago who would sail for years on end without seeing a single female and would then begin to think that the walruses in the ocean were beautiful mermaids.

Jimmy: "I just got back from that two month long all guys summer camp and saw that Helga must have lost weight, shes lookin' fine!"

Tyler: "Dude, Helga hasn't changed, you're just suffering from The Walrus Theory."

The Walrus Theory by Henry Litchford April 15, 2012

the Steven theory

after 10 hours Steven goes weird and starts lots of arguments

I think this is weird Steven. the Steven theory is true

the Steven theory by viobio2 November 8, 2022

The Ewing Theory 

A theory hashed by ESPN.com writer Bill Simmons and his friend Dave Cirilli. It that explains the reason why teams inexplicably become better after their star player leaves the team for any reason (trade, injury, etc.). Two elements must be present for a situation to be explained by the Ewing Theory: 1) The team has a star player who receives a lot of attention but never wins anything, and 2) The star player leaves the team and everybody writes the team off.

The Knicks lose Patrick Ewing to an injury in a 1999 NBA playoff series with the Indiana Pacers. Everyone writes them off. The Knicks then win three of the next four games and win the series to advance to the NBA finals.

The Ewing Theory by Ryan Tang February 23, 2005