masturbatastrophe 

When the act of pleasuring one's self goes utterly wrong.

MARK: "I don't think I'll ever be able to face my family again"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"

masturbatastrophe by Chud Brunner October 30, 2011

masturbationalist 

a Masturbationalist, is simply a person who finds that masturbation is the answer to all problems in the world.

bob: Hey, jim, why dont you join us masturbationalists?

jim: yeah? and how would that solve all the existing problems these days?

bob: thats a good question... you'll just have to masturbate to find out, eh?

Jim: hm... sounds good.. i think i will join the masturbationalists, then

bob: good move..im sure you'll like it

masturbationalist by Krimson~ November 3, 2006

masturbating jungler 

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.

Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!

masturbating jungler by bananas107 May 16, 2023

thought masturbation 

When someone has dumbass thoughts in his head that motivates him while doing nothing about it, usually all those people do is imagine and get pleasure from thinking some bullshit. They like to share those thoughts with their friends and listen to some music/look at images while thinking about it.

Michael's head:

*listens to balkan rap* => I need to move to Serbia !!
*looks for BMW photos on google and listens to german rap* => I need a BMW to prove em all wrong !!
*watches ultimate last minute goals on youtube* => I will become a football coach soon !!
*looks for some 90 days 90kg lost videos on youtube and listens to motivating songs* => tomorrow i start gym !!

Michael: bro, i finally found what I needed in my life..
Djafar. his best friend: Man stfu. i'm tired of your thought masturbation..

thought masturbation by upsetrobbery June 23, 2020

Chronic Masturbation 

A saying in The Walking Dead telltale game

You guys know i im here?
Chronic Masturbation!

Chronic Masturbation by Bitter Bleach May 28, 2019

journalistic masturbation 

When a journalist writes an article showing off his or her writing skills, vocabulary and worldly knowledge rather than sticking to the job of reporting. This is usually the case in an interview where the opinions and insight of the subject are overshadowed by the journalist's uncontrollable need to show off. It is when the standard of unbiased journalism becomes commentary when it is not supposed to be. In other words, it's all about the writer's ego.

The best example ever of "journalistic masturbation" can be found in the cover story of the LA Weekly Nov. 30 - Dec. 6 issue/ Vol. 30/ No. 2 "Dennis Kucinich Has Five Minutes For You" by Dwayne Booth.

journalistic masturbation by Mr. Clizzy fresh December 31, 2007

masturbation station 

a location or area in the home where someone most frequently masturbates. This is usually a chair in front of a home computer where internet porn can be accessed.

im feeling a little stressed.. i think i need 7 or 8 minutes alone at the masturbation station.

masturbation station by veh-jay-jay January 18, 2009