Crowning the King 

I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! Prince Andrew! How much longer are you going to be in there?

Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you?

Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King!

Crowning the King by Dr Whosis December 20, 2009

Crowning

Having an intense need to defecate.

Mike was crowning, it was a tough decision between dropping a chalupa in the woods with no toilet paper, or waiting for the comforts of an outhouse three miles ahead.

Crowning by The Commadore August 15, 2008

cornning the ham 

The act of slathering icy-hot on a fat woman's thigh then using making love to the numbed fat roll.

I enjoy cornning the ham

cornning the ham by cloakchoke January 9, 2011

crowning glory 

Taking a poop, dropping a bomb, shitting, crapping etc -particularly in reference to that initial, highly satisfying first push of fecal matter from the body.

Please excuse me, my glory is crowning.

Rhonda ate a lot of wings last night, her crowning glory must have been a scorcher!

crowning glory by Rhondone December 8, 2011

Crowning

The moment you cross your legs when you are no where near a bathroom and you clench your bung hole to stop it from coming out

I need a bathroom but i cant move because im crowning

Crowning by dick nuggets November 25, 2014

ball coining 

It's like, when you get a bunch of pennies, right, and you like, put 'em in your mouth and you get that nasty penny taste in your mouth... Wait, hold on, don't put this... put this... Nevermind, I'm just gonna keep going, I'm kinda high. And have your partner stand up and put your mouth on his balls, with the pennies in your mouth. You gotta keep trying to shoot pennies out of your mouth and try to get them on the top of the shaft with the balls in your mouth.

"If you're quite done ball coining me, all the pennies on my shaft are weighing me down. Bitch?"

ball coining by That guy's face August 31, 2006

canining

A gender agnostic version of bitching

"Man, you should stop canining".

canining by Ak_2006 February 14, 2006