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philosophical cock block

When you've come up with a great idea only to realize someone else came up with it before you
"I was about to post my definition for masturbae when I found out that someone else already created one. What a philosophical cock block!"

Philosophical Ejaculation

String of ideas or "facts" about the reasons behind life, religion, the human thought process, or the condition of humanity. Usually the product of intellectual masterbation. Usually occurs in bulk in "higher learning" classes such as psychology, sociology, government, or debate clubs. Should be realized that the thoughts and ideas generated with these classes are extremely unoriginal, despite how excited the student might be to stumble across an idea they think answers some social injustice.

Also, an approach to school related projects in class such as those listed above along with persausive essays. The idea behind this approach is to eat up word count or time requirements by filling the project with philosophical ideas and opinions that are unable to be proven. Also this approach has the added delusion that you are speaking intellegently about ideas that are important or will have some impact on society. Should be noted that it's not important, and will have no effect other than giving your proffesor a boner.
"Jacob's project in in sociology was about the way in which government interference prevents the course of social darwinism. It was really 10 minutes of him covering everyone with a giant load of his Phiosophical Ejaculation."

"After a session of intellectual masterbation about eugenics, Mr.Dillem and Mr.Arschol acheived simotaneous philosophical ejaculation, resulting in both of them believing that stupidity is a mental condition that is genetic."

"Human behavior theorums are pure philosophical ejaculation. You can't predict how people will act, which makes it unsurprising that the stock market failed. They pay people to produce math formulas so that they can blind side idiots into buying imaginary crap such as sub-prime mortgages."

Philosophical Slur 

1) A philosophical statement that is garbled or doesn't make very much sense.

2) A drunken philosophy.
"Make like a tree and get the fuck out." - The Boondock Saints

Drunken Roomate " Used couches are the cause of divorce."

Sober Roomate " That was a wise Philosophical Slur."

Philosophical menopause

Aligning your wants with your needs.
John really needs to attain philosophical menopause. He is wasting his time in his corporate job instead of being a pilot

Philosophical Dick 

When you give dick so well or so bad that your partner contemplates the meaning of life, their place in the universe, and or what they did to deserve it.
His philosophical dick was so good all I could do was sit and contemplate the universe.

philosophical discussion 

We had a philosophical discussion last night.

You blew him?!