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I'm Helping 

The utterance of a mentally retarded employee in a fast food commerical from the 80s. Used ironically to signify the utter unhelpfullness of the help being offerend. Repopularized in the Bizzaro episode of Sealab 2021.
After spraying wasp poison in your friend's eye in an attempt to drive away a bee: I'm helping!
I'm Helping by Bizzaro Poot August 26, 2006
Related Words

Mates helping mates 

"Did you hear that Chad and Nathan got drunk and beat each other off?"

"I didn't know they're gay!"

"They're not gay....Thats just mates helping mates, you know?"

helping hand 

Assistance given to someone who becomes tired while providing a handjob.
While Dick Cheney was giving me a handjob, but was too tired to continue, I took hold of his wrist and gave him a helping hand. The helping hand provides a somewhat similar experience and sensation to the Stranger in the Night.

Helping-Hands Job 

A sexual maneuver where a male sits on his knees. His partner sits behind him so that their chest touches his back. The partner then reaches underneath the male's armpits and extends their arms outward. The male will then fold his arms over his partner's and hides his hands behind his back. The partner then gives the male a hand-job is such a fashion that an observer may believe the male is using his own hands. The concept is likely born from the game called "Helping Hands" on the popular television show "Who's Line is it Anyway".
My girlfriend gave me a helping-hands job while I looked in the mirror so it looked like I was masturbating without having to put forth the effort.
Helping-Hands Job by peggy87 July 29, 2010

helping richard out of the pool 

When you have to use extreme strength to get your dick out of a girl's pussy when it is in too tight.
Girl: Let's stop, my dad is going to be home any minute!
Boy: Alright, let's get dressed.
Girl: What are you waiting for, hurry up!
Boy: Hold on, I'm helping Richard out of the pool.
1) Ancient Greek term meaning 'slovenly' or 'sloth-like'.

2) Relating to, of the same nature as, or characterised by involuntary muscular contractions combined with the release of gases, anally.

3) A person with cerebral palsy.

See sock, halpin, or youse
1) "Some Halpig parked me in!"

Person 1: I just spilled gravy all over my sliders!
Person 2: Dude, you're such a Halpig
Person 1: :(
halpig by Chooked May 11, 2006