Skip to main content

Advanced Awkward Turtle 

Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.

First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.

Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.
Advanced Awkward Turtle would be used in these situations.

Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.

A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.

Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.
Advanced Awkward Turtle mug front
Get the Advanced Awkward Turtle mug.
See more merch

Hate Sink 

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.
Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.
Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026