Pastorbate 

What a pastor must do to keep sexually abstinent.

"I haven't had sex since I became a pastor and now I pastorbate everyday!"

Pastorbate by The Action. August 23, 2011

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

plasterbate 

To masturbate while being plastered (severely intoxicated)

"Today sucked, I am just going to chug this fine Lagavulin and go plasterbate"

plasterbate by YuriN March 18, 2008

Pastorbation 

Pas-tor-ba-tion (noun)

The act of self-satisfaction while under the supervision / assistance of one's religious leader or pastor

OR

The execution of sexual acts performed on or by one's religious leader

It is a shame.... those altar boys were victims of pastorbation.

Pastorbation by Ronan XVII November 10, 2008

posturbate 

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.

Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.

posturbate by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007

pastorbation 

Masturbation by a priest while hearing an especially steamy confession.

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.

pastorbation by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

posturbate 

When you have a load so majestic that you must upload a picture of it to Facebook, Twitter, or Intagram.

You: Hey man, did you see me posturbate last night?
Friend: Yeah, I'm unfollowing you on Instagram.

posturbate by jigganut January 2, 2015