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Pinch My Squid 

To masturbate, especially while listening in on a conference call.
Do you think she could talk sexy so I can pinch my squid?"
Pinch My Squid by TNRjackass April 3, 2008

I beat my meat to squid porn

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL IF YOU DO THIS YOU Are LEGEND ANS DesERvE A TROPHY FOR LEGEND STATUS
I beat my meat to squid porn because it is fun asf

Squat on my bedpost

The act of performing a squat above a rounded, relatively small bedpost for sexual pleasure.
Ye want tae squat on my bedpost? Sound!

squat on my duck 

squat on my duck by GVilleMexican December 10, 2015

dip my balls in cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens

Something to say when you are overwhelmed with what has happened. It's also funny to visualize it.
Ian: I just saw that Jesus is truly here! It is insane! He has performed multiple miracles, ended all wars, and he actually seems to be in favor of racism.
Sean: Well, dip my balls in cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens!