mindsterbate 

An alternative to having intelligent conversation with other people, in which you have a conversation or debate with yourself, either aloud or in your head. Often caused by the absence of intelligent friends or acquaintances.

Man, my friends are such idiots. I have to mindsterbate every night.

mindsterbate by mes-toa October 15, 2005

monksterbate 

When monks congregate and circle jerk while chanting to Bjork songs.

Damn, those monks sure like to monksterbate to Bjork songs.

monksterbate by Alabastor Jones November 25, 2007

criminal mindsturbating

Being so aroused by the characters, events, or interactions on Criminal Minds that your body brings itself to climax of its own accord.

Mom: Honey I heard shouts from your room last Wednesday at 9/8c.
Daughter: Oh don't worry mom I was just criminal mindsturbating.

criminal mindsturbating by katiedahmer February 22, 2011

Monsterbate 

1. To masturbate in an intense and/or earth-shattering manner.

2. The form of masturbation someone monsterous in personality or appearance exclusively utilizes.

3. An actual monster's masturbation.

"He doesn't simply masturbate to Angelina Jolie, he MONSTERbates to her."

"The Undertaker is only capable of monsterbation - masturbation for him is out of the question."

"Cookie Monster has been known to monsterbate off the SCENT of a cookie alone."

Monsterbate by Jeanette M. April 2, 2008

Mindsterbating 

The act of masterbating without using any masterbatory aids such as pronography.

Friend 1- Why didnt you answer your phone?

Friend 2- Sorry, I was mindsterbating to the memory of those two chicks kissing at the party lastnight.

Friend 1- You're pathetic.

Mindsterbating by Jack Hambit April 2, 2011

mindsturbation 

To masturbate to someone using your mind, not your hands.

That girl in the subway was just asking for serious mindsturbation. Too bad I'm wearing sweatpants.

mindsturbation by orospu March 5, 2006

mindsturbate 

To masturbate only using one's mind. Titillation comes from stimulation of the brain. Ejaculation often indicated by concentrated spit being ejected from the mouth.

"At the MENSA meeting, I couldn't keep myself mindsturbating. Yes, the ladies were that good."

mindsturbate by $$$ February 21, 2004