Skip to main content

criminal mindsturbating

Being so aroused by the characters, events, or interactions on Criminal Minds that your body brings itself to climax of its own accord.
Mom: Honey I heard shouts from your room last Wednesday at 9/8c.
Daughter: Oh don't worry mom I was just criminal mindsturbating.

Madturbate

What someone's 4 year old son with down syndrome says he does with the vacuum cleaner every night.
When I asked my roommate Collin's son why he uses the vacuum cleaner every night, he says he's doing madturbate.
Madturbate by collymclolly January 10, 2021

milfturbate

Verb. To stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. Strictly forbidden under Catholic doctrine.
Sinner: "Bless me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "Confess your sins my son and let the Lord see into your soul."
Sinner: "My mom had some of her friends round for a Women's Institute meeting and I was serving them tea and cakes. Later that night I indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses."
Priest: "Wicked boy! Say three hundred Hail Marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!"

mindsterbate 

An alternative to having intelligent conversation with other people, in which you have a conversation or debate with yourself, either aloud or in your head. Often caused by the absence of intelligent friends or acquaintances.
Man, my friends are such idiots. I have to mindsterbate every night.
mindsterbate by mes-toa October 15, 2005

mansturbate 

The same as regular masturbation, but more aggressive and manly.
Real men don't jack off, they mansturbate.
mansturbate by MikeCareyHunt December 27, 2010

mindsturbation 

To masturbate to someone using your mind, not your hands.
That girl in the subway was just asking for serious mindsturbation. Too bad I'm wearing sweatpants.
mindsturbation by orospu March 5, 2006