yet another josh cohen's definitions
An overblown, overpriced funeral for a public figure -- such as a musician, politician, actor, or athlete -- that is vastly disproportionate to how much attention s/he needed to receive.
Peter: "Hey, did you see Paris speaking at the Michael Jackson funeral?"
Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
Stewart: "How could I not? That viking funeral was on every blasted channel!"
by Yet Another Josh Cohen July 14, 2009
Get the viking funeral mug.The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009
Get the standard cycle mug.The "twist ending" that pervades science fiction, horror, mystery, and fantasy writing, television, or film -- basically, anything that might get the label "genre". The classic example is that Bruce Willis was dead the entire time.
Marlene: Hey, did you watch Criminal Minds last week?
Jill: Yeah, but I figured out the genre twist just before they revealed the kid was the killer.
Marlene: I got it before the end of the second commercial break.
Jill: Yeah, but I figured out the genre twist just before they revealed the kid was the killer.
Marlene: I got it before the end of the second commercial break.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen April 27, 2009
Get the genre twist mug.A party, usually attended by women or couples (but almost never just by men, and single men are almost never invited unless they're of the homosexual occasion). It is held at one person's house. That person may or may not be the host. Whomever the host actually is will come to the party with several large plastic bins filled with sex toys, lingerie, lubricants, and oils.
Kind of like a Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, or Tupperware party.
Kind of like a Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, or Tupperware party.
Ever since my wife came home with all that stuff from the fuckerware party, she hasn't had sex with me.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen April 12, 2006
Get the fuckerware party mug.the act of purchasing a trial membership to a pornographic website, then downloading as much content as possible in that period of time before declining to renew your subscription
Dude, that site has some awesome sex videos on it. Let's go halfsies on a membership and do some stripmining!
by Yet Another Josh Cohen May 26, 2006
Get the stripmining mug.1. An outgrowth of the BDSM safeword, by which you arrange with a friend before meeting someone new that you'll call him/her at a certain time. If your friend receives this call, all is well. If your friend does NOT receive this call, it is the friend's sworn duty to call the police and report a problem. Very popular in a world where you meet someone from the internet who might be crazy.
2. A friend you can call when you want to evoid someone else. You can literally call and start a conversation mid-stream, and your friend knows what you're doing and plays along.
2. A friend you can call when you want to evoid someone else. You can literally call and start a conversation mid-stream, and your friend knows what you're doing and plays along.
1. Herbert, you'll have to uncuff me so I can make my safe call.
2. It may sound weird when Susan's on the phone, but that's because I'm her safe call.
2. It may sound weird when Susan's on the phone, but that's because I'm her safe call.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen October 28, 2005
Get the safe call mug.A lane on a roadway that, depending upon the time of day, changes direction of travel. Sometimes, as in Snellville, Georgia, the direction of travel is noted by an electric sign every 200 feet hanging across the highway. Other times, as in parts of Maryland, there is nothing but a sign.
Example:
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
From 5am to noon, lanes 1, 2, 3, and 4 are Southbound, lane 5 is a turn lane, and lanes 6 and 7 are Northbound. From noon to 8pm, lanes 1 and 2 are Southbound, lane 3 is a turn lane, and lanes 4 through 7 are Northbound.
Example:
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
From 5am to noon, lanes 1, 2, 3, and 4 are Southbound, lane 5 is a turn lane, and lanes 6 and 7 are Northbound. From noon to 8pm, lanes 1 and 2 are Southbound, lane 3 is a turn lane, and lanes 4 through 7 are Northbound.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 28, 2005
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